


this memes war

by derryhawkins



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Most definitely, but like i said i'm bored, georgie will be mentioned & might make appearances, group chat au, have things like this been made before??, i'm seriously just making this for fun bc i'm bored, just the losers being gay and dumb and in love, so rlly there might not be a plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2020-11-08 02:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20827715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/derryhawkins/pseuds/derryhawkins
Summary: mike: but guys cmon we’re all in different colleges it’ll be FUNstan: babe i love you but 7 of us in one gc is destined for hellbill: idk i kinda like the ideamike: A’IGHT IMMA DO JTstan: BILL[or: the one where the losers are in college and out of missing everyone, mike makes a groupchat that’s “destined for hell” according to stan.]





	1. this is hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this might not have a set plot bc this is just for me to write when i'm bored & procrastinating college. also i have no idea what this first chapter is but hope u guys enjoy the losers being dumb & gay anyway
> 
> where they all are (in case you're curious):  
bev - new york; fashion institute of tech (nyu)  
eddie - new york; nyu  
ben - new york; columbia university  
richie - la, cali; ucla  
bill, stan & mike - florida; uni of florida

_ **STANBRANLON** _

mike: guys  
mike: loves of my life

stan: aren’t you shitting

bill: hi babe  
bill: STAN

stan: what? he went to go shit

mike: NDJSK YES IM SHJTTING  
mike: but that’s not topic of conversation i wanna talk about rn  
mike: i have an idea

bill: you’ve got my attention  
bill: math is killing me

stan: idk i kinda wanna finish this episode of Downton Abby & i can’t do that with u shitting  
stan: wait fuck

bill: YOURE WATCHING DOWNTON WITHOUT ME

mike: IT WAS STANS IDEA

stan: NO IT FUCKING WASNT

bill: ihmygod i hate you both

stan: oops

bill: fuck u

mike: ANYWAY  
mike: BACK TO THE OG POINT  
mike: i miss the others :(

bill: oh fuck me too :(

stan: so do i it’s weird not seeing them everyday 

bill: facetime just,,, ain’t the same

mike: EXACTLY  
mike: so  
mike: how about we make a groupchat

bill: all seven of us????

mike: ye

bill: wait fuck why haven’t we done that before

stan: we have enough small ones as is  
stan: i vote nay

bill: why

stan: have you ever been in a gc with rich, eddie, AND bev together?? it’s chaos. add you and it’s gonna implode

bill: dude you instigate their chaos all the time 

mike: i mean  
mike: we all kinda contribute to it  
mike: even ben 

bill: i’m iffy rn about it

stan: a firm no

mike: WHAT

stan: ...

mike: but guys cmon we’re all in different colleges it’ll be FUN

stan: babe i love you but 7 of us in one gc is destined for hell

bill: idk i kinda like the idea

mike: A’IGHT IMMA DO JT

stan: BILL  
stan: YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE IFFY

bill: i changed my mind DUH

stan: oh my god

_mike made a group chat!_  
_mike added six people!_  
_mike changed the group’s name to **THE LOSER FAM**_

mike: hi :)

stan: Oh No

bill: FJSKSK

ben: ??? hey  
ben: WAIT DOES THIS HAVE EVERYONE

mike: YEAH

ben: FINALLY OH MY GOD

bev: dafuq’s going on  
bev: WAAIAIITJG HELLO BOYS  
bev: i just woke up oh my god i might cry

stan: it’s a groupchat.

bev: and i haven’t fucking talked to any of you loser shits since we all moved to our colleges aka tWO WEEKS

ben: literally the only losers are together rn is you guys

stan: us?

ben: yeah!

stan: oh  
stan: wait bev aren't you, ben & eddie in nyc

bev: yea but  
bev: he's in the med field & i'm at FIT. they're diff branches of NYU  
bev: then ben is at columbia university  
bev: and bc of our schedules its hard to meet up :(

stan: that sucks I'm sorry bev :(

bev: its ok. miss u guys tho

mike: yeah i really fucking miss you guys so i made this. figured it will be easier for us to talk

stan: this is going to end up in flames

bev: have some optimism stanny!  
bev: awwww mike <33333

eddie: ,,,27 messages  
eddie: TWENTY-SEVEN  
eddie: and it’s been 2 fucking minutes  
eddie: TWO MINUTES  
eddie: oh fucking god  
eddie: miss u guys too tho :(

stan: see eddie gets it 

bev: can we change our names 

eddie: why would we do that

ben: wait where’s rich

bev: bc I want to  
bev: idk probs sleeping

stan: when does he have class?

bill: idk his schedule at UCLA scares me  
bill: he sent me a pic of it on snap & i think i blacked out for a hot sec

eddie: he has some drama thing every monday, tuesday & wednesday morning & friday nights sometimes

bev: and then basic stuff around that

mike: plus a music class! he sends me videos

stan: our richie “trashmouth” “slacker” “lazyass of a potato bum” tozier is doing all of that shit?

bev: he’s v into theater & music & comedy u know this

stan: I KNWO  
stan: it’s just,,hard to comprehend  
stan: after high school

ben: our boy is gonna die oh my god

mike: rip richie tozier 2001-2019  
mike: may he rest in pieces

bev: MAY HE REST IN PEICEZKKSKS

eddie: PIECESND!????

stan: LMAO MIKE

ben: OH FUCK

bill: THAT-  
bill: I JUST LAUGHED OUT LOUD IN CLASS  
bill: HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN THIS  
bill: MIKE

eddie: I LOVE U MIKE

mike: :’) i’m stealing the funny spotlight from him already omg

richie: no the FUCK you AINT YOU TRICK ASS BITCH

mike: RICH!!

stan: see? hell. 

bev: RICHIE RICH

richie: BEV BABY  
richie: cocker staniel you know you love me

stan: i love my boyfriends, birds, peace, & not you

richie: oh ok :(

stan: :/

richie: :((((

stan: FINE gosh  
stan: i love you  
stan: and ok i’ve been missing you too

richie: !!!!! :D  
richie: LOVE YOU TOO STANNY BOY  
richie: A N D you've missed me???? i'm feeling LOVED TONIGHT  
richie: other than u guys saying i'll die but thats whatevs

eddie: never say whatevs again pls for the loVE OF GOD

richie: EDS <3 <3 <3 <3

eddie: ,,,,,not my name

stan: eddie just submit to the nickname  
stan: it's been nearly 12 years now, he's not gonna stop

eddie: BUT ITS NOT MY NAME

richie: ITS A NICKNAME FUCKER I KNOW IT'S NOT YOUR NAME

eddie: EDDIE IS ALREADY A NICKNAME??????

bev: ok but those hearts tho

mike: thye're secretly in love we've been over this bev

bev: thye're

ben: THYE'RE

bill: thye're

stan: thye're

eddie: thye're

richie: thye're  
richie: also we're not in love

eddie: also we're not in love  
eddie: FUCK RICHIE

richie: OHMGYSDJSF

mike: i was about to complain about the thye're but nEVER MIND

ben: they're in sync  
ben: guess u could say they're...............N'sync

bill: oh my god ben

richie: BENNY

bev: oh ben 

stan: ben,,

ben: yeah that's my name :)

eddie: bev control your man and his boyband puns

mike: EDDIE

stan: EDWARD

ben: her what

bev: ben isn't my man!!! 

richie: YET

bev: and he can make as many puns as he wants as long as richie is the way he is  
bev: i'm gonna kill u rich

ben: thank you bev :))

bill: DOUBLE SMILEY  
bill: THATS CUTE

stan: wait are we just gonna ignore bev's jab at rich

richie: yes bc she's fucking RUDE

bev: mwah love u rich

richie: if you did you'd marry me

bev: alright bet

mike: HUH

eddie: ..........excuse me

bill: I'LL OFFICIATE IT

stan: oh fuck lmao

ben: can i be the ring person

richie: wait what

bev: me & you  
bev: las vegas  
bev: this weekend  
bev: we're eloping  
bev: bc i love you

richie: BEV

bev: yea??

richie: I WAS JOKING

bev: JDLKFJ I KNOW YOU FUCKFACE

richie: OH MYG OD

stan: mike, we're in hell.

bill: WHY WOULDN'T SHE BE JOKING RICHIE

richie: i just got out of a long as fuck class & my brain is metling bc i'm so tired so EXCUSE me for not realizing at first billiam

mike: stan,, i know  
mike: metling

ben: metling  
ben: what does that even mena  
ben: fuck

stan: metling and mena

bill: god we suck at typing

bev: MENA JFSLJKF  
bev: JOHN MENA

richie: WAIT  
richie: bill didn't u say u literally loled earlier

bill: yeah why

richie: how did that go

bill: oh fine class was over anyway

mike: oh so i didn't get you in trouble  
mike: thats fantastic

stan: that kinda looks sarcastic babe

bill: what satan said  
bill: stAN WHAT STAN SAID

stan: WHAT THE FUCK BILL

richie: SATAN

eddie: can anyone in this fucking group type correctly??

bev: OOOOHHHHHHHHH MY GOD

bill: I MEANT STAN I SWEAR  
bill: STAN  
bill: nOT SATAN  
bill: HOLY SHIT IM SORRY

mike: ok but its fitting bc you keep saying we're in hell

stan: i will kick you both out onto the couch

mike: WHAT NO

eddie: & i go ignored ok cool

richie: eds we're all Not Straight so no

bill: :(( stan

eddie: oh fuck u right

richie: i'm always right

eddie: debatable

richie: ok RUDE

eddie: your face is rude

richie: my face was made from the gods

eddie: no

richie: WHAT DO YUOU MEAN NO

eddie: your face was made from TRASH

richie: TAKE THAT BACK  
richie: YOUR FACE WAS MADE FROM TRASH

eddie: OH FUCK YOU

richie: FUCK ME YOURSELF COWARD

eddie: IN YOUR FUCKING DREAMS

richie: hell yEAH IN MY FUCKING DREAMS

eddie: WHAT THE FUCK EW GROSS  
eddie: RICHIE

richie: ok im KIDDING geez

ben: well that escalated quickly

_ **THE 3 STOOGES** _

bev: CHILL OUT RICHIE

richie: I CANT

stan: i can't fucking believe 

richie: believe what

stan: that you've gone FIVE FUCKING YEARS without outing your own crush  
stan: its so fucking obvious

richie: NOT TRUE  
richie: i'm VERY subtle with my crush on eds  
richie: the fuck

bev: ,,,,eh

richie: BEV

bev: i mean u call him cute like 25/8  
bev: pinched his cheeks a lot  
bev: u stared at him a lot too  
bev: not to mention bickering as flirting is like......your go to technique with him  
bev: need i go on??

stan: you become the embodiment of heart eyes  
stan: and you're very touchy with him  
stan: do i need to mention every fucking time you two argued about that damn hammock in the clubhouse?  
stan: or the fact you STILL have a back up inhaler when he doesn't need one  
stan: AND YOURE IN CALIFORNIA AND HE'S IN NYC, RICHIE  
stan: HOW are you going to get the inhaler for him if he needs it

richie: its for when he visits :(

bev: oh myg od

richie: well IF he visits  
richie: planes give him Anxiety

stan: he'll visit, rich

bev: the world can't keep you separated forever

stan: wow that's oddly poetic

richie: she's destined to marry ben, what else do u expect stan

stan: lmao you're right

bev: SHUT UP  
bev: i don't like him like that

richie: ,,,,,,,,,  
richie: sure jan

stan: well that's a fucking lie

bev: i hate you both


	2. in a funk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> richie's in a funk, eddie thinks he pissed him off, stan hates bug spray, & bev refuses to say she likes ben

_ **EDDIE & RICHIE** _

eds: richie its literally midnight over in ny can u chill with the constant snapchat messages

rich: u could've just replied to me there yknow

eds: yeah but i didn't want to please u

rich: ok fucking RUDE  
rich: but jokes on you kaspbrak i'm pleased either way  
rich: bc guess what  
rich: we're TALKING and that's what i WANTED  
rich: congratulations, you played yourself

eds: oh fuck me

rich: ok when and where

eds: NOT LITERALLY YOU GROSS FUCK

rich: I KNOW ITS CALLED JOKING AROUND YOU FUCKING HOBBIT

eds: i??? am not a hobbit????

rich: dude ur like 5'3

eds: 5'9 u dick  
eds: AND BILL IS 5'7  
eds: HE'S THE HOBBIT!!!!  
eds: thats BELOW the average height meanwhile i'm right there  
eds: and ur just......abnormally tall

rich: i'm at a perfectly normal height thank you very much  
rich: i don't believe ur 5'9

eds: dude  
eds: 6'2  
eds: basically a short basketball player  
eds: AND I AM 5'9

rich: but being tall automatically makes me hot  
rich: aka i get all the ladies ;)  
rich: and men ;)

eds: not me

rich: no that's a lie  
rich: you're secretly in love with me

eds: in you're dreams, tozier  
eds: maybe YOU are the one in love with ME

rich: lmao hell yeah i am  
rich: holfdfyf fuckwait- [NOT SENT]  
rich: BEFORE YOU FREAK I'M KIDDING

eds: STPP KICDDING ABOUT THAT SHIT

rich: wanna facetiem

eds: well that took a sudden turn  
eds: what no more all caps  
eds: lmao facetiem

rich: shut the fuck up, hobbit  
rich: just facetime me i'm across the country and miss my eds

eds: that's  
eds: not  
eds: my

rich: not your name i know 

eds: name  
eds: RICHIE

rich: :D

eds: i have class tomorrow rich

rich: what time

eds: 8am

rich: oh

eds: if i want to not rush i have to go to sleep soon

rich: ok

eds: "ok"  
eds: thats all i get?

rich: yeah

eds: you good??

rich: of course i'm good!!  
rich: i'm talking to you ;)

eds: god fuck off  
eds: night, rich

rich: whatever yeah  
rich: night eddie

_**THE 3 STOOGES**_

richie: i've got it BAD

bev: lol we know

_ **THE LOSERS FAM** _

ben: LOOK GUYS!

_ben sent a picture!_  
_[desc. selfie with beverly, clearly at a café, both smiling widely]_

bev: TWO LOSERS HAVE BEEN REUNITED

richie: aw look its mom and dad :,)

bill: i thought i was dad

richie: no ur daddy ;)

stan: step the fuck away from my man, richie

mike: stan woke me up and told me to threaten richie so  
mike: die, rich

richie: oh fuck hot damn okokok  
richie: FOCUS ON BENVERLY GUYS

bev: did you seriously make us a ship name

richie: uh duh

ben: idk i kinda like it

stan: that's a fucking cute selfie

ben: thanks stan :)

stan: now date

ben: oh-

bev: STAN

richie: lmaooooooo

mike: yall may be cute we're adorable

_mike sent a picture!_  
_[desc. a v low quality selfie of mike, stan & bill together; only half of bill's face is showing, stan's in the middle, they're all cuddling]_

bev: HTE MOST ADORABLE

richie: is that a hickey i see on stan's neck

ben: awwwww

stan: no rich its a mosquito bite

mike: fsljfdsjk

bev: i love stan's sarcasm

richie: ok STANIEL tone down the sarcasm its only 8:13 am

bill: its not sarcasm sdkfjslk

stan: i have like 6 of them in various places on my body and i'm PISSED

mike: i told you to wear the bug spray

stan: IT MAKES MY SKIN STICKY

bill: you should've just worn the bug spray

richie: im so glad i dont live in florida

stan: BE GLAD  
stan: ok but bill you're the one who wanted to stay out late outside so this is your fault

bill: WE TOLD YOU TO WEAR THE BUG SPRAY

stan: I DON'T LIKE BEING STICKY

mike: i can't believe u'd rather get bitten than wear bug spray

ben: ....are they texting while cuddling each other

bev: i-  
bev: i think so

richie: ok u two have no room to talk  
richie: having fucking coffee together  
richie: meanwhile i have NO ONE

ben: u ok rich?

richie: peachy

bev: need to talk?

richie: nah i'm good  
richie: i'm going to pay attention to class now

_ **THE 3 STOOGES** _

stan: ben said he likes the ship name :)

bev: fuck OFF

stan: hows the coffee???  
stan: is it good???  
stan: is college treating ben well???

bev: YOU'RE BEING AS ANNOYING AS RICHIE STOP IT  
bev: AND YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME BLUSH

stan: SO YOU DO LIKE HIM

bev: what no

stan: *looks into the camera like i'm on the office*

bev: he's cute  
bev: he's always been cute  
bev: and really nice  
bev: that doesn't mean i LIKE HIM  
bev: now let me finish my breakfast with my Friend

stan: alright  
stan: richie

richie: yes, m'lord?

stan: you're down

richie: no i'm not

stan: yes?? you are????

bev: you are

richie: go back to sucking ben's face off, ringwald

bev: only if you suck eddie's dick

richie: even if i wanted to i CANT  
richie: IM IN CALI & HE'S IN NYC

stan: so you are down

richie: i'm lonely over here, that's all  
richie: i mean u guys have each other  
richie: stanbranlon,,,,,benverly + eds

bev: i'm sorry richie :(  
bev: i'd be there in a flash if i could

stan: same here, you know that

richie: i do  
richie: doesnt mean im not upset by it tho

stan: would facetime help?

richie: im in class rn

stan: pay attention the best you can & call me after  
stan: not to seem 'ooc' but i miss you too

richie: ooc  
richie: we arent characters in a book stan  
richie: but ok

stan: i mean maybe we are

richie: dont go all galaxy brain on me this early  
richie: plus im not high enough for it either

stan: please tell me you didn't go to class high

richie: sfkldjf i didnt  
richie: learned my lesson about that in 10th grade  
richie: thanks to bev

bev: im innocent, i swear

stan: i highly doubt that

stan: wait-

bev: w-  
bev: was that a pun

richie: HIGHLY  
richie: GREAT WORD CHOICE

stan: oh fuck me

richie: that’s mike’s & bill’s job

stan: bold of u to assume i don’t fuck them

richie: MkKAKSK  
richie: OUHHDKSMY GOS

bev: OH  
bev: HOLYBFUCKING SHIT  
bev: THINGS JUST ESCALATED SO QUICKLY

stan: :)

_ **THE LOSER FAM** _

eddie: what did i miss  
eddie: oh fuck thats a lot  
eddie: is it normal to start crying after seeing pictures of you best friends

mike: aw eddie 

ben: dw i cried 5 minutes ago over a dog video from the dodo  
ben: practically the same thing

bill: i- i dont think that they are ben

ben: dogs = cute  
ben: best friends = cute  
ben: same thing

bill: o fuck u right

eddie: ben stop being sweet youll make me cry again

mike: ben being a sweetheart is my aesthetic

bill: sae  
bill: same  
bill: When Will I Not Make A Spelling Mistake

eddie: just put autocorrect on

bill: no

eddie: ,,ok then

ben: <3 love u guys  
ben: hey where's richie?  
ben: i thought he would be spamming this by now bc eddie finally made an appearance

eddie: is that why its so calm here skfjslkj

bill: THAT plus bev isnt here either

ben: yeah she just got to class

eddie: what ben said

mike: richie & stan are talking on the phone rn that's why

eddie: oh ok that makes sense  
eddie: what are they talking about???

ben: who knew stan would willingly have a phone call with richie

bill: me

mike: yeah its kinda weird but not

ben: oh

bill: it's just,, normal to me ig  
bill: they've been friends forever  
bill: longer than any of us, since like age 4 i think?  
bill: eddie & i crashed their fun (literally) on the playground when we were 7  
bill: insert us becoming friends  
bill: then 5 years later you guys join in  
bill: stan may act like he hates richie but they're basically brothers at this point

mike: things just got v soft & im not complaining

ben: that's cute as fuck  
ben: wonder what they're talking about tho

mike: me too  
mike: stan seemed pretty serious about it

bill: yeah im tempted to eavesdrop

mike: ok now where did eddie go

bill: EDDIE

ben: should i try ***

mike: i feel like thats only reserved for richie  
mike: if he really hated it, he would have murdered richie by now

bill: i cannot stress enough how true that statement is

ben: good point  
ben: OH HE JUST TEXTED ME

_ **EDDIE & BEN** _

eddie!!: i think i accidentally pissed off rich

ben ten: huh

eddie!!: you're supposed to be good with words  
eddie!!: you poetic sweetheart fucker

ben ten: i'm a one hit wonder

eddie!!: did u ever give it to her anyway

ben ten: i chickened out

eddie!!: bENJAMIN

ben ten: I KNOW  
ben ten: anyway why do you think you pissed off richie?

eddie!!: idk  
eddie!!: we were talking last night & he said he wanted to facetime  
eddie!!: i said no bc i needed to wake up early  
eddie!!: & idk his texts go like rlly short  
eddie!!: like one or two words

ben ten: i don't think you pissed him off

eddie!!: did you not just read a single thing i just sent you

ben ten: oh my god eddie just listen  
ben ten: he's out in cali  
ben ten: alone  
ben ten: me, you & bev have each other  
ben ten: bill, stan & mike have each other

eddie!!: oh

ben ten: i think he's just missing us  
ben ten: you specifically

eddie!!: ....why me

ben ten: you're kidding, right?

eddie!!: no?

ben ten: apart from being his best friend he also likes you

eddie!!: lmao good one ben  
eddie!!: nice try

ben ten: oh my god you're oblivious

eddie!!: MOVING ON  
eddie!!: so i didn't piss him off?

ben ten: nah

eddie!!: can you ask stan?

ben ten: why stan & not richie

eddie!!: bc idk  
eddie!!: i trust your judgment but its RICHIE and stan is stan

ben ten: ...hold on

_ **THE LOSER FAM** _

ben: eddie wants to know if richie is mad at him

eddie: BENJAMIN WHATEVERTHE FUCK YOUR MIDDLE NAME IS HANSCOM

mike: LKFJLSKFJLS

bill: richie??? mad at eddie?????  
bill: pigs will fly when that day comes

eddie: YOU FUCKER

ben: YOU WOULDN'T ASK SO I TOOK DRASTIC MEASURES

mike: stan is still on the phone with him so idk  
mike: but i'm 100000% positive that he's not mad at you  
mike: :))

eddie: that smiley doesnt helkp

bill: HELKP

ben: helkp

mike: helkp

eddie: fuck you guys

bev: H E L K P

eddie: BEVERLY

bev: u love me  
bev: but why would rich be mad at u

eddie: bc i turned down his facetime suggestion last night for sleep

bev: ohh  
bev: he's not mad  
bev: he's just in a funk

ben: told you

mike: THEY'RE OFF THE PHONE

eddie: QUICK DELETE THE MESSAGES BEFORE RICHIE CAN SCROLL UP

ben: nO

bill: whoops no can do

stan: do you guys ever shut up

richie: AWWW EDS  
richie: you were worried i was mad at you??  
richie: dude do you know our friendship  
richie: when was the last time i was genuinely mad you

eddie: idk

richie: EXACTLY

bill: told you

mike: TOLD YOU

eddie: OK I GET IT FUCK OFF

bev: ..........told you

eddie: BEVERLY FOCUS ON YOUR CLASS

bev: SUCK  
bev: MY  
bev: DICK

_bev changed their name to king bev_

eddie: damn ok

king bev: :))

richie: WAITL;SFJDLK

_richie changed their name to ten-inch tozier_

_eddie changed ten-inch tozier's name to ur dick is a worm_

_ur dick is a worm changed their name to fuck off eds_

_fuck off eds changed eddie's name to eds_

eds: I HATEYUO

fuck off eds: :D

_king bev changed fuck off eds's name to dickard___

_ __ _

_dickard changed stan's name to staniel_

_dickard changed ben's name to benny boy_

_dickard changed bill's name to big bill_

_dickard changed mike's name to mike n ike_

mike n ike: "i hate it when you call me eds"  
mike n ike: richie then changes eddie's name in the gc to eds  
mike n ike: eddie proceeds to not change it

eds: are you calling me a liar????

mike n ike: well i aint callin u a truther

staniel: @ god take me now

dickard: so you DO like eds

eds: no i fucking hate it you wastoid

mike n ike: sure jan

staniel: thats False

big bill: hmmmm no u dont

king bev: LMAO

benny boy: ok pinocchio

dickard: hehehehe

eds: i fucking hate all of you


	3. have the planets aligned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told myself i wasnt going to make this angsty and then,,,,,whoops lmao sorry in advance (but its not THAT bad)

_ **BEN & BEVERLY** _

ben handsome: hey

bev <3: BENNY  
bev <3: what’s up

ben handsome: not much  
ben handsome: this physics work is killing my brain so figured i should take a break

bev <3: pHYSICS??  
bev <3: oof rip  
bev <3: you will be missed :(

ben handsome: thank u that’s nice to know uwu

bev <3: c:

ben handsome: bcjsks that’s a cute smiley  
ben handsome: anyway what r u doing??

bev <3: just got out of my thursday night class

ben handsome: it’s.,,friday

bev <3: I KNOW  
bev <3: the class got canceled last night bc reasons i didn’t care for remembering but the prof was like  
bev <3: “we’re still doing class tho the next day bc i want u guys to suffer”  
bev <3: & like we couldn’t rlly say no unless we have class on fridays & i don’t so :/

ben handsome: oh yikes  
ben handsome: hopefully it wasn’t too bad of a class?

bev <3: it was some mandatory english course so nah  
bev <3: not really thankfully  
bev <3: but i do have a 7 page essay due next friday

ben handsome: SEVEN PAGES??? FUCK

bev <3: MY EXACT THOUGHTS  
bev <3: do u think if i pull the ex card bill will write it for me

ben handsome: uh,, no

bev <3: hm u right  
bev <3: how long were u thinking of making ur break from physics

ben handsome: idk honestly  
ben handsome: why??

bev <3: idk

ben handsome: ...do you wanna go somewhere?

bev <3: only if u want to  
bev <3: you probably want to focus on physics tho  
bev <3: beside sits like.........9pm

ben handsome: we can hang out i rlly don’t mind

bev <3: hdjsks REALLY?

ben handsome: yeah!!  
ben handsome: a longer break won’t hurt

bev <3: YAY OK YES  
bev <3: where are we going?  
bev <3: i’m kinda hungry so-

ben handsome: do u like sushi?  
ben handsome: wait u do we’ve had this talk before

bev <3: we did??

ben handsome: yeah like in 9th grade or something  
ben handsome: & it wasn’t us specifically but i was there  
ben handsome: you & eddie were arguing if sushi was good &/or healthy

bev <3: I REMEMBER NOW OMG  
bev <3: ok lets get sushi  
bev <3: meet me there?? i’ll find a place & send u the location of it

ben handsome: sounds good to me :))

_ **THE LOSERS FAM** _

mike n ike: did ben & bev go on a date last night?

dickard: WHAT

staniel: Excuse Me

big bill: WHOM

eds: they wHAT

_mike n ike sent a picture!_  
_[desc. screenshot of bev’s instagram story of a plate of sushi & ben smiling widely; she tagged him but no caption]_

big bill: ARE THHEY FINALLY TOGETHER

eds: LOOK AT BEN’S SMILE

staniel: no matter what they say, they went on a fucking date. you can’t change my mind

dickard: MOM??? DAD???? MOM AND DAD???? THATS MY MOM AND DAD!!!!!!!

eds: ARE THE PLANETS FINALLY ALIGNING CORRECTLY

big bill: IM OFFICIATING THE WEDDING

mike: as long as i’m the best man idc

king bev: what the FUCK  
king bev: AKCHJFJDJS IT WASNT A DATE  
kind bev: I-

benny boy: we wanted sushi

mike: at fucking midnight??

king bev: IT WAS 9:30

dickard: BEV AND BEN SITTING IN A TREE

eds: K I S S I N G

dickard: FIRST COMES LOVE

eds: THEN COMES MARRIAGE

dickard: THEN COMES BEVERLY WITH A BABY CARRIAGE

king bev: IM GONNA KILL BOTH OF YOU

benny boy: we were bored!!!!! plus bev was hungry after her class & i needed a break from physics hw

staniel: sure ok totally that’s what happened

big kill: did u kiss

benny boy: oh my god NO

king bev: *loads shotgun* you’ve got 2 seconds to run

mike n ike: who  
mike n ike: who is that directed to

dickard: marty i’m scared  
dickard: WAIT  
dickard: i’m literal miles away i have NOTHING to fear  
dickard: eds on the hand,,,,,,,,,,,, u will be missed

eds: WAHT

dickard: dw i wont let ur mom come to the funeral

eds: RCHIARD

dickard: that  
dickard: how did you fuck up my name so much

staniel: take your bicker-flirting to another chat because this one is on benverly lockdown

dickard: wE areNT FLIRTING

eds: STANIELY???

mike n ike: oh my god you two broke eddie

staniel: BENVERLY  
staniel: LOCKDOWN

benny boy: we literally just went for sushi

king bev: what ben said!!!

big bill: we don't believe you

king bev: oh my god ok  
king bev: heres the story  
king bev: i left class that was og my thurs night class but it got changed this week bc reasons  
king bev: ben texted me

benny boy: i needed a break from my physics hw  
benny boy: literally not much else to that

king bev: i asked him if he wanted to go out  
king bev: ok i didn't ASK we kinda....mutually agreed after we talked a bit  
king bev: like he said, he needed a break from hw & i was bored + hungry after english

benny boy: so naturally we get food  
benny boy: that food was sushi  
benny boy: end of story :)

big bill: who paid

king bev: i know what ur getting at & guess what billiam, we split the check

eds: so the planets HAVENT aligned correctly yet??  
eds: bummer :(

dickard: oh you can actually spell now

eds: shut the fuck up

dickard: make me

staniel: BENVERLY LOCKDOWN!!!!!

eds: STOP SAYING SHIT LIKE THAT

dickard: I HAVE NO FILTER EDDIE YOU KNOW THIS

benny boy: can it not be on benverly lockdown anymore bc idk what else you guys wanna know

staniel: alright fine

king bev: so now can we talk about eddie & richie flirting 25/8  
king bev: also can we talk about how they were on the phone for 4 hours last night

big bill: THEY WHAT

staniel: well that's new information

mike n ike: was it phone sex

benny boy: w h a t

eds: HOW DO YOU EVEN FUCKING KNOW THAT

dickard: BEVERLY WHAT THE HELL

eds: YOU TOLD HER???

dickard: WE LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT NOTHING & BEV ASKED WHY I WAS UP AT 4 AM  
dickard: WHAT ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY  
dickard: i wasn't gonna lie about talking to mY BEST FRIEND  
dickard: why is it such a big deal anyway, you hobbit?

big bill: SDKJF hobbit

dickard: ur also a hobbit stfu

big bill: HEY

mike n ike: i need popcorn

benny boy: ohhh that sounds so good rn

mike n ike: if we were in the same area i'd totally drive over to u & make u some

benny boy: ditto tbh

king bev: hold the order of the popcorn bc it looks like they've moved to another chat

staniel: yeah eddie would've responded by now

big bill: oh fuck maybe this is more serious than we thought

_ **EDDIE & RICHIE** _

eds: its not that serious

rich: ???!?!??!!!!  
rich: YOU MOVED THIS CONVO TO A PRIVATE CHAT

eds: will you stop talking in all caps for once in your fucking gen z life

rich: NO

eds: holy fucking shit

rich: geez ok fine  
rich: seriously tho  
rich: why so serious  
rich: we're best friends  
rich: who spent 4 hours on the phone  
rich: talking about NOTHING  
rich: i don't understand  
rich: it's not like we're secretly dating

eds: i don't know ok

rich: you're joking  
rich: right?

eds: no i seriously don't fucking know  
eds: we've talked for hours before idk why i'm so riled up

rich: oh

eds: but the others dont know about the other phone calls  
eds: do they?

rich: no  
rich: is that why this is a serious thing?

eds: its not fucking serious richie

rich: kinda sounds like it is to you tbfh

eds: richie

rich: fucking what

eds: whoa hey don't get all pissy

rich: well what am i supposed to be???  
rich: bev's my best friend too & suddenly i can't spill the beans that we talk???? like normal fucking best friends???  
rich: the fucking hell is that about.  
rich: and apparently i can't mention the thousands of other calls ether? what the fuck, eddie.

eds: i just  
eds: I don't know ok?

rich: they're stupid PHONE CALLS  
rich: you have nothing to freak out about here

eds: i just don't want them thinking we're dating like they are with ben & bev, ok?  
eds: why are you getting so angry about this

rich: who the hell cares eddie. phones are literally the only way i can talk to ANY OF YOU right now they won't think jack shit  
rich: and i'm angry bc you're lashing out on me about this  
rich: i did nothing wrong, for once  
rich: why don't you want them thinking we're dating?

eds: i'm not lashing out on you

rich: uh lmao you kinda are

eds: and its bc i just don't like you like that  
eds: yeah i'm gay & you're bi & we bicker but that doesn't equal to fucking flirting

rich: hey remember when u were scared i was mad at you 4 days ago?  
rich: consider me fucking mad

eds: what the fuck?  
eds: why?

rich: you're acting as if its my fault!

eds: no???

rich: uh YEAH???

eds: dude what the actual fuck  
eds: richie.

eds: lol real mature, ignoring me

eds: fuck you, richie.

_ **THE 3 STOOGES** _

_richie sent a few pictures!_  
_[desc. screenshots of reddie's angsty convo]_

richie: lmao  
richie: i'm muting this now bye we'll talk later

bev: yo what the fuck

stan: oh Fuck

_ **THE LOSER FAM** _

_dickard has left the chat!_

big bill: oh fuck

mike n ike: holy shit was it really that serious?

benny boy: this doesn't look good

eds: for once in your fucking lives can you not be so into everyone else's lives? jesus.

king bev: hey eddie i love you but don't fucking lash out on us here  
king bev: we're friends, yeah? friends tease each other

eds: whatever

_staniel added dickard to the chat!_

staniel: before anyone freaks out, rich doesn't have to say anything & neither does eddie or anyone else  
staniel: lets just all chill for a moment

_ **THE FURIOUS FIVE** _

mikey: sooo

billiam: ,,,this is awkward

mr handsome: i feel like i witnessed a break up tbh

bev bev: i would have never mentioned the phone call if i knew THAT was gonna happen

stan the man: i don't even think they knew that was going to happen, bev

mike n ike: i feel like we should try and see what happened but at the same time i think they need space

mr handsome: i could try to talk to eddie  
mr handsome: maybe? idk

bev bev: i’m giving rich space for now  
bev bev: he sent screenshots of their convo to me & stan but then muted the group

billiam: oh damn  
billiam: is it too invasive to ask what the screenshots say?

mike n ike: i mean......probably

staniel: it's basically their fight  
staniel: both are over reacting, especially eddie but he always over reacts tbfh

billiam: i'm just praying for the day they realize they're in love

bev bev: lol

staniel: half of that has already come true, kind of

billiam: WHAT

mike n ike: no way

mr handsome: richie, right?

bev bev: yeah  
bev bev: how'd you know?

mr handsome: i hinted about it at eddie the other day & he was completely oblivious

staniel: sounds like someone else i know.

bev bev: who?

staniel: ,,,,,,

billiam: and i oop-

mike n ike: "stan the man gets off a good one" - richie, if he were here  
mike n ike: also bill, sweetie, that meme is old and over used please never use it again

billiam: :( ok

mr handsome: i cant tell if stan's comment is directed at me or bev and at this point im too afraid to ask

staniel: not you dw 

mr handsome: oh ok! good 

bev bev: hey WAIT-  
bev bev: STAN

staniel: anyway back to the fighting couple-but-not-a-couple  
staniel: bev and i will talk to rich & bill should probably talk to eddie

billiam: sounds good to me

bev bev: now?

staniel: i mean preferably soon. i can't be the only one who doesn't want the gc to be awkward

mike n ike: thought you said it was hell?

staniel: maybe i like it BECAUSE its hell

billiam: whoa kinky

bev bev: and this is when i mute this chat

mr handsome: im just gonna-

_mr handsome has left the chat!_

mike n ike: oh god, look at what you two did

staniel: i mean its not like we sent a video of us making out

billiam: true

mike n ike: guess ur right

bev bev: I'M STILL FUCKING HERE, YOU SHITS FOR BRAINS

staniel: MUTE THE FUCKING CHAT THEN, BEVERLY


	4. everyone had a crush on bill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little change in the layout hope u guys dont mind x

** _THE 3 STOOGES_ **

**richie:** WHY IS HE SO MAD ABOJT THE STUOID PHOENCALSL

**stan:** well hello to you too, tozier

**bev:** you finally answer after A DAY??

**richie:** I WAS TRYING TO TLAKJTO EXS BUR HE BLOCKED ME  
**richie:** OS SKRRY

**bev:** oh my god are u drunk

**stan:** he blocked you?  
**stan:** over the disagreement with the phone call?

**bev:** put your fucking autocorrect on

**richie:** no i’m running on 7 cups of coffee & zero sleep bc between having that fight with eds & just LIFE i guess, i totally forgot about a paper for this history course i have to do so i’ve also been writing that & that’s why i left the group & ignored eddie’s texts bc i didn’t even START on the 8 page fucker and it’s due in TWO HOURS AND I HAVE 3 PAGES LEFT AND IM PANICKING ABOUT SO MANY THINGS RIGHT NOW &&&&&&& i’ve been trying to get eddie to talk to me so i can explain i wasn’t ignoring him about the fight but my messages aren’t going through so either he blocked me or the wifi just sucks when i text him

**bev:** so many &

**richie:** and what about it

**stan:** our little firecracker is dramatic but I never thought he was THAT dramatic

**richie:** he blocked me on twitter for 3 weeks bc i tweeted a picture of him cutting grapes for a fruit salad with the caption “they did surgery on a grape”  
**richie:** like dude ofc he’s that dramatic

**bev:** ....wait ur choosing SCHOOL work over EDFIE

**richie:** it’s due in 2 hours & i have 3 pages left  
**richie:** i don’t wanna fail  
**richie:** so  
**richie:** FUCKING DUH

**stan:** this is a shocking new development

**richie:** WHATS THAR SUPPOSED TO MEAN

**stan:** you literally turned in a project late because you had been helping eddie with his project & forgot about yours  
**stan:** that’s happened more times than i can count  
**stan:** now you two are in a fight  
**stan:** and you’d rather turn it in on time than mend your friendship

**bev: **LIKE ?????  
**bev:** you love him don’t you???

**richie: **it’s college????????  
** richie: **& i mean  
** richie:** sure

**bev:** SURE  
** bev: **s u r e  
** bev: **S URE  
** bev:** STAN WHATS HAPPENJNG

**stan: **dude are you genuinely okay?  
** stan:** just the other day you were moping about your feelings towards him

**richie: **ok fine YES i love him  
** richie: **i’ll even admit that i’m IN LOVE with him  
** richie:** but he doesn’t feel the same way & the entirety of the fucking United States of Shitty America are between us so what’s the point, really?

**bev:** you don’t know that

**richie:** what

**bev:** that he doesn’t feel the same

**stan:** it’s plausible that he does given how he freaked over the phone call

**richie:** did you guys not fucking read the screenshots

**stan: **i did  
** stan: **and rich, this is eddie we’re talking about here. not anyone else  
** stan: **it took him up until before we left for college for him to properly come out to us bc of all that brainwashing sonia did on him about everything  
** stan:** do you really think he’s going to act in a normal way about feeling the same way you do?

**bev:** tbfh he’s probs totes oblivious to his feelings

**richie:** like you are with haystack?

**bev:** we’re talking reddie here not benverly so stfu

**stan:** REDDIE?

**bev: **hey they deserve a ship name too  
** bev:** *ahem* STANBRANLON

**stan:** point taken

**richie:** idkdikdkkdkskkals  
** richie:** my brain? mush

**stan:** because of the paper or eddie?

**richie:** yes.

**bev: **i’ll see if bill or someone can get eddie to talk to you okay? and you two better have a CIVIL conversation  
** bev: **preferably not over text  
** bev:** now finish that paper!! i believe in u, champ!!

**stan:** [shia labeouf voice] just,, DO IT

**richie: **“champ”  
** richie: **are u suddenly my dad  
** richie:** STANIEL

**stan:** :)

**bev:** i’d love to be wentworth tbh i mean have u SEEN mags?? what a Woman

**richie:** THATS MY MOTHER BEVERLY

**stan:** i-  
** stan:** i’m too gay for that

**bev:** smh fucking losers

**richie: **SHES MY M O M  
** richie:** IM NOT OEDIPUS

**stan: **again — too gay  
** stan:** but she is attractive i guess

**richie:** MY MOM?????????  
** richie:** that’s like saying bill’s mom is hot  
**richie:** ,,hold on wait-

**bev:** SHE IS THO

**richie:** you know who else is hot??

**bev:** if u say eddie-

**richie:** mike’s parents  
**richie:** HAVE YOU SEEN YOUNGER PICS OF THEM??

**stan:** mike looks a lot like his dad so u have a point

**bev:** OOOHHH MY GOD WILL AND JESSICA ARE *chefs kiss*  
**bev:** honestly?? stan’s mom??? i’m pretty sure i had a gay crush on her when i was 12

**stan:** NOT MY MOM TOO

**richie:** meh

**stan:** should i be offended for my mom, or...

**richie:** stan’s mom is like a 2nd mom to me so like  
**richie:** i’ll pass

**bev:** ALL THE PARENTS AEE HOT  
**bev:** except my sperm donor piece of hellish shit father and sonia kaspbrak.

**richie:** shit got dark fast

**stan:** ok lets stop talking about hot adults and let richie finish his paper that’s due in an hour and a half

**richie:** FIKC

_ **BILL & EDDIE** _

**billy:** eddie

**edward:** yeah

**billy: **so like  
** billy:** why did u block rich

**edward:** to help me study

**billy:** ok

**edward:** ok?

**billy:** ok.

**edward:** ????

**billy:** :|

**edward: **slfjsdjf OK FINE  
** edward:** i blocked him last night bc idk i was MAD yknow & i forgot to unblock him this morning & now like idk if i want to bc he's gonna be pissed

**billy: **so uh,, heres some info: rich isnt pissed  
** billy: **heard from bev that he's rlly confused  
** billy:** & so am i

**edward:** but he told me he's mad at me

**billy:** that was in the heat of the moment probs

**edward: **but we had an actual FIGHT  
** edward:** OVER A FUCKING PHONE CALL

**billy:** yeah why did u get so mad anyway

**edward:** i dont know

**billy:** you serious expect me to believe that

**edward:** maybe?

**billy: **we've known each other for a decade and a half  
** billy:** u can't lie to me

**edward:** that sounds vaguely threatening

**billy: **just tell me the truth eddie  
** billy:** and then talk to richie  
** billy:** like, via ft or phonecall or idk teleport to cali

**edward:** god i wish i could teleport  
edward: its just  
edward: feelings

**billy:** feelings? romantic feelings?

**edward:** that's what i dont know

**billy:** what caused this?

**edward:** wdym

**billy:** like u questioning the Feelings

**edward:** graduating lmao

**billy:** YOU'VE FELT LIKE THIS SINCE WE GRADUATED AND HAVEN'T SAID A DARN THING?

**edward:** careful there billy boy, you might let a few cuss words slip out

**billy:** fuck YOU

**edward:** oh-

**billy:** back to the topic at hand  
**billy:** what do u mean graduating caused the questioning of the Feelings

**edward: **i mean at first i just thought it was leaving u guys bc there's no doubt in my mind that i may have an unhealthy attachment to u guys  
** edward: **like separation anxiety type thing  
** edward: **you're all my family, like my true family, not whatever my mom is  
** edward:** like you saw me bawl my eyes out & wheeze before leaving for nyu

**billy: **:( i did i was v worried  
** billy:** but continue

**edward: **but anyway as summer went on i kinda realized i was the most anxious to leave rich??? & i just thought it was bc cali is literally across the country but then after the phone call the other night i kinda?? might??? like richie trashmouth tozier??????  
** edward: **BUT I DONT KNOW  
** edward: **IDK WHAT FEELINGS FEEL LIKE OR LOOK LIKE AND IM CONFUSED  
** edward:** like there were two girls walking across campus ok & i was like "hey they remind me of me & rich!!" but then they kissed so that just sent me into some sort of spiral & then THAT happened in the losers fam

**billy:** O Shit

**edward:** that was my only thought for a While

**billy:** so u might like rich thats nothing bad

**edward:** yeah but i told him i didnt

**billy:** so that Might be a lie so what

**edward:** i told him i dont want anyone to think we're dating

**billy:** alright ok continue thats not bad either if u dont like him

**edward:** & i said our bickering doesnt equal flirting which idk does it??

**billy:** wait are u asking me if its flirting

**edward:** ...yes?

**billy: **uh  
** billy: **alright not gonna lie  
** billy:** but i always kinda thought you like rich? at least since freshman year. maybe end of middle school

**edward: **HUH  
** edward:** bc of the bickering?????

**billy:** idk u two sometimes sound like an old married couple who cuss way too much

**edward:** WHAT THE FUCK

**billy:** so yeah

**edward:** I HATE FEELINGS

**billy:** look, eddie, i love you. a shit ton. you're my brother

**edward:** yo dont say that

**billy:** what?

**edward:** ok i may be oblivious about how i feel most of the time but i Know i had the biggest crush on u in middle school so please dont call me ur brother

**billy: **YOU WAHT  
** billy: **wait actually now that u say that  
** billy:** a lot of things make sense

**edward:** oh skfjslkjf oops

**billy: **dw its ok  
** billy:** back to what i was saying: i love you, like family, ok? and you need to figure out how you feel but you also need to talk to richie bc honestly what is the losers club without you two?? i dont care how you talk to him but mend whatever you have going on

**edward: **alright  
** edward:** what if he doesnt want to talk to me?

**billy:** its richie dude

**edward:** and?

**billy:** its.....richie

**edward:** its richie

**billy:** trashmouth!

**edward:** rich :)

**billy: **he love you too  
** billy: **in what way idk but he loves you  
** billy:** he cant be mad at you for long if he really is

**edward:** alright i'll talk to him

**billy:** YES

**edward:** in the morning tho i'm tired

**billy:** ofc ofc

**edward:** thanks billy :)

**billy:** hey no problem, ed

** _EDDIE & RICHIE_ **

**eds:** morning

**rich:** ........HELLO

**eds: **oh my gOdsjfskd  
** eds: **can we like  
** eds:** talk?

**rich: **sure yeah totally its fine we can talk  
** rich:** talking is a Thing we can absolutely do

**eds: **dude chill  
** eds:** just call me when u can ok?

**rich: **ok will do no problem  
** rich:** but i have class in like 2 minutes so

**eds:** oh yeah me too

**rich:** i'll call when i get out?

**eds:** fine with me :)

** _ THE LOSER FAM _ **

**dickard:** richie&eddie are back in business babey

**eds:** oh my GOD

**mike n ike:** OH TAHNK FUCK

**staniel:** i have never been more happy in my entire life

**king bev:** DETAILS

**eds:** there aren't any tbh

**dickard:** yeah we just apologized for being over dramatic bitches to each other & moved on

**eds: **i've just been really,,  
** eds: **out of it lately  
** eds:** kinda took it out on rich, and i shouldn't have done that

**benny boy:** i'm sorry ur feeling that way eddie but i'm glad u & rich are ok

**big bill: **literally same  
** big bill:** also did u guys know eddie had a crush on me in middle school?

**dickard:** lmoa yeah

**staniel:** who didn't

**mike n ike:** eddie told me. the v first secret i had to keep from yall

**benny boy:** he gave u a valentine's day card, bill

**king bev: **wtf yes  
** king bev:** 12 year old me was lowkey mad at eddie bc he wouldn't stop making googly eyes at my at the time bf

**staniel:** maybe eddie & bev aren't the only oblivious ones here

**eds:** what's that supposed to mean

**king bev:** ....excuse moi

**big bill: **A VALETINE'S CARD????  
** big bill:** IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS

**eds:** oh my god bill how did you end up dating 3 out of 6 of us with that brain of yours

**dickard:** *4

**benny boy:** *5

**eds: **are u fucking serious  
** eds:** i was the one with the fucking embarrassing middle school crush but i'm the only loser who HASNT been with bill

**mike n ike:** you wish you were us eddie ;)

**eds:** 12 YEAR OLD ME DOES, YEAH

**staniel: **too late bitch  
** staniel:** HE'S TAKEN

**dickard:** to be fair bill & i didn't really date we just made out a lot during freshman year  
**dickard:** im surprised none of u caught on tbh

**staniel:** we were all too caught up in surviving the first year of high school i think

**benny boy: **we went on like 2 dates during the summer before junior year

**king bev:** ok how did i not know that

**dickard:** you never asked??

**benny boy:** i was lowkey figuring out my sexuality & lowkey had a crush on bill

**king bev:** YOU HAD A CRUSH ON MY EX

**benny boy:** baseball is an attractive sport ok

**king bev: **ok ok ok  
** king bev: **good point  
** king bev:** another good point: asses

**benny boy:** exactly

**eds:** suddenly i like baseball

**dickard: **DONT GET ME STARTED ON BASEBALL  
** dickard:** bill playing it put me on my death bed at one point i'm pretty sure

**staniel:** i played baseball too

**dickard:** and ur basically my brother

**staniel:** valid ok good point

**mike n ike:** dont worry i got a boner every time i went to those games stan

**staniel:** my ego just skyrocketed

**big bill:** HWAT ABOUT ME

**mike n ike:** obviously you too ;)

**king bev:** will u guys just fuck already i'm tired of ur horny minds turning every gc sexual

**mike n ike:** college is time consuming, beverly.

**big bill:** quickies are a thing, i keep TELLING YOU THIS

_dickard removed big bill from the chat!_

**dickard:** i love u guys but i dont wanna hear about ur sex life

**staniel:** PUT HIM BACK, RICHIE

**mike n ike:** BUT

**dickard:** nO

**eds: **ur just jealous bc they've been getting more action than u

**dickard: T**HAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE  
** dickard:** they dont have time to fuck why would i be jealous of that?!!??!

**eds:** idk dude ur fucking weird

_mike n ike added big bill to the chat!_

**dickard:** MICHAEL

**mike n ike:** i wanted my boyfriend

**benny boy:** oh im sure you do

**king bev:** BEN SKJFSKLJ

**benny boy:** IM RIGHT THO

**eds:** ben swooping right on in with those one liners

**dickard: **i've never been more proud   
** dickard:** i'm shedding fatherly tears

**eds:** once again, ur fucking weird

**dickard:** but you LOVE ME :))))

**eds:** very debatable atm

**benny boy:** well rich loves u so....

**dickard:** BEN

**benny boy:** ITS TRUE

**dickard:** MAYBE

**king bev:** i mean he's not wrong

**eds:** maybe??

**king bev:** OH

**dickard:** why @ god

**benny boy:** did i accidentally cause a Thing

**eds:** im so confused

**dickard:** good stay that way

**eds:** THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

**dickard:** NOTHING GEEZ

**eds:** FUCK YOU

**dickard:** I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY

**eds:** IS THAT A DARE

**benny boy:** the fuck is happening

**king bev:** uh

**dickard:** suddenly i cant read i dont know

**eds:** ?

**benny boy:** clueless, fucking CLUELESS

**king bev: **so  
** king bev:** did the gay trio finally go fuck

**mike n ike:** :D

**king bev:** good for u!

**dickard:** well at least SOME of us have our shit together


	5. casual talk about murder

** _ THE LOSER FAM _ **

**mike n ike:** ITS SPOOKY MONTH

**staniel:** TIME TO GO SHOPPING FOR DECORATIONS

**big bill:** CAN WE GET A SKELETON PLEASE

**staniel:** YEAH

**king bev:** for some reason i keep forgetting that u guys have an apartment together & aren’t in dorms

**mike n ike:** we’re gonna get TWO skeletons

**dickard:** r u jelly bev

**big bill:** FUC K YEAH

**king bev:** of them having an apartment?? fuck YEAH i am bc i’ve got this shitty roommate who parties every night & snores like a fucking train when they’re actually asleep

**dickard:** oh yikes that fucking sucks

**king bev:** TELL ME ABOUT IT

**staniel:** throw them out the window. that’ll shut up the snoring 

**king bev:** oh yeah Sure lets have my 5’3 body lift a 5’9 former volleyball player out the window that’s designed to stay shut!!!

**eds:** start spoopy month the right way  
**eds:** with a murder

**dickard:** KDKSKFJD

**big bill:** OH

**mike n ike:** how about we Not go on a murder spree

**benny boy:** who said anything about a spree

**staniel: **i mean  
**staniel:** if anyone is capable of murders its bev

**king bev: **i  
**king bev: **should i be flattered  
**king bev:** or Concerned 

**dickard:** i mean,, i think we may ALL be capable of murder

**big bill: **for some reason   
**big bill:** i feel like we should not be talking about this in a group chat

**mike n ike:** i’d never kill anyone

**king bev:** ,,,i Might

**eds:** u whacked ur bastard of a father over the head with a toilet seat lid & put him in a coma so rlly these are just Facts

**benny boy:** & she was 13 who knows what she’s capable of now

**dickard:** idk about u guys but i fully support bev in almost murdering her dad

**king bev: **thank u richard i knew i loved u for a reason  
**king bev: **& it wasn’t like i was Trying  
**king bev: **it was Self Defense  
**king bev:** the main reason i never got arrested for putting him in the hospital

**mike n ike:** oh my god are u bragging

**king bev:** just spitting facts mikey 

**staniel:** the next most likely to murder is eddie

**eds:** ME??

**dickard:** honestly yeah i agree

**eds:** WHY ME

**dickard: **ur a chihuahua or a pomeranian trapped in a human’s body & those creatures are fucking vicious   
**dickard:** ppl are so scared of pit bulls when the real demons are CHIHUAHUAS and POMERANIANS

**eds:** did u just fucking call me a demon

**big bill:** maybe,, stan is right

**dickard:** A CUTE ONE THO

**staniel:** i’m ALWAYS right tf are you talking about “maybe” billiam

**eds:** YOURE THE DEMON

**staniel:** me?

**eds:** NO RICHIE

**staniel:** OH makes sense

**dickard:** HOW???? AM I A DEMON????

**eds:** YOURE DUCKINV ANNOYING

**mike n ike:** duckinv

**king bev:** duckinv

**big bill:** duckinv 

**benny boy:** duckinv

**staniel:** duckinv

**dickard:** duckinv

**big bill:** we are back to not being able to spell

**eds:** YALK ARE FUCKING ANNOYING

**dickard:** YALK

**eds:** SHUT THE FUCKNUO YOU BITCH

**dickard: **FUCKNUO  
**dickard:** WHY ARE U MISSPELLING SO MUCHFJKSKS

**benny boy:** he’s Gay richard 

**eds: **IM A FUCKING HOMO  
**eds:** oh skfjjs beN

**benny boy:** :)

**king bev:** anyway back to the murder thing

**mike n ike:** oh no

**king bev:** I think we’ll all murder for one another 

**mike n ike:** ......ok honestly yeah

**dickard:** so u WOULD kill someone

**mike n ike:** like u would?

**dickard:** bro i’d fight a demonic being for u shits

**big bill:** dude same

**eds:** me too

**staniel:** i can’t lie & say no

**king bev:** why wouldn’t i tf

**mike n ike:** ok yeah same

**benny boy: **same  
**benny boy:** i mean i would rather Not fight a demonic being but if it would keep u guys alive then i’d definitely stab it

**mike n ike: **ben???? being VIOLENT??  
**mike n ike:** more likely than u think!!

**big bill:** u guys know that john mulaney skit where he’s talking about some friend from college or somewhere & his friend was complaining about some dude or something & then john was like “i’d TOTALLY kill that guy for u do u want to me to kill him” and like years later the police were concerned about it bc legal things involving the friend

**staniel:** ofc course we do

**eds:** why

**big bill: **he was joking  
**big bill: **We Are Not  
**big bill:** see my point yet

**dickard:** we’re just murderous bastards who are too nice to actually kill someone

**eds:** except bev

**king bev:** SELF DEFENSE FUCKERS

**staniel: **but like  
**staniel: **whats a friendship if you don’t say you’ll become a murderer for them  
**staniel:** also does NO ONE remember That summer where we Literally Fought a fucking serial killer

**big bill:** I Don’t Wanna Talk About It  
**big bill:** that’s the summer Georgie went missing for like a month bc of said serial killer

**king bev:** also the summer i nearly killed the sperm donor

**eds:** also the summer i broke my arm

**dickard:** also the summer i had my Bi Awakening aka accidentally flirting with Bowers’ cousin & getting fucking chased all over town

**benny boy:** oh the same summer he tried to kill me

**mike n ike:** and me :/

**staniel:** didn’t his friend patrick get murdered too by the serial killer

**eds:** oh fuck 

**king bev:** holy shit i forgot about that

**dickard: **then bowers murdered vic & belch  
**dickard: **and then his dad  
**dickard: **and then tried to kill us  
**dickard: **oh my god are we ok  
**dickard:** like mentally 

**staniel: **so  
**staniel:** there were 2 serial killers that summer

**big bill:** wait it just hit me that we survived a child murderer and a psychotic bully within 3 months

**mike n ike:** oh we are def not ok mentally

**eds:** poor georgie went missing for a MONTH

**big bill:** NO NEED TO REMIND ME OF THAT

**dickard: **so like,, we technically have fought for one another  
**dickard:** so rlly it’s not that surprising we would kill too for each other

**king bev:** something is VERY wrong with us

**eds:** at least we’re alive 

**mike n ike:** there were like 5000 times i thought we were gonna die

**benny boy:** can we change the subject im getting Anxious 

**king bev:** oh same like i know henry is in a mental hospital & robert gray is locked up & i have a restraining order on my dad but-

**mike n ike:** other than the fact that we branded ourselves as the Losers Club that summer was fucking shit

**dickard:** time to CHANGE THE SUBJECT

**staniel: **IM SORRY FOR BRINGING IT UP I WAS GENUINELY CURIOUS  
**staniel:** repression is a Thing

**eds:** Rainbows

**dickard:** that’s gay

**benny boy:** i got an A on my physics test :)

**king bev:** THATS MY BOY

**benny boy:** :))

**big bill:** Her What

**eds:** well that’s a new development 

**king bev:** all of u are my boys idgi

**staniel: **ohfuck me sideways  
**staniel:** DONT TURN THIS SEXUAL

**dickard:** damn it

**mike n ike:** buzz kill

**big bill:** my name in the chat is sexual in and of itself

**king bev:** oh dear god

**dickard:** mine literally has dick in it

**benny boy:** but u don’t have dick in u which is the sad part

**staniel:** JFKSKA OH SHIT

**dickard: **wow OK  
**dickard:** NO NEED TO RUB IN THAT I HAVE NO ONE TO FUCK BC NEITHER DO U

**benny boy:** well alrighty then

**king bev: **not mention his name is richard  
**king bev: **aka dick  
**king bev:** thus dickard

**eds: **how do u even get dick from richard  
**eds: **wait  
**eds:** NO

**dickard:** YOU ASK ME NICELY ;) ;)

**eds:** YOU GUYS SET ME UP FOR THAT

**king bev:** MAYBE SO BUT ITS STILL FUCKING FUNNY

**benny boy:** oh this is amazing

**mike n ike:** eddie do u have something to tell us??

**big bill:** maybe eddie & richie were the ones kissing in the tree all along, not ben & bev

**staniel:** ooohhh maybe its BOTH

**eds:** I DO NOT

**dickard:** MFJKSODNNSKS

**king bev:** stan shut UP

**mike n ike:** what about u rich???

**dickard:** i have absolutely no fucking clue what you are talking about, michelangelo 

**mike n ike:** u lyin

**eds:** WE’RE JUET FRIENDNS

**big bill: **eddie   
**big bill: **lil dude  
**big bill:** u gotta start spelling correctly

**eds:** “lil dude”  
**eds:** you are LITERALLY 2 INCHES SHORTER THAN ME

**dickard:** see? chihuahua.

**eds:** FUCK YOU, DICK

**dickard:** YOU GOTTA ASK NICELY EDS

**eds:** i hate both of u so much

**big bill: **love u tho  
**big bill:** but i love mikey & stan more

**dickard: **and i’m in love w u so-  
**dickard: **ohbnit agian chskkskzmxbbxjs  
**dickard:** KIDDING IM KIDDING IM JKING A BIG JOKE JUST KDDINGNF DONT GET PISSED

**king bev:** you are a fucking disaster

_ **STAN & RICHIE** _

**stab:** DUDE

**dick:** I KNKW  
**dick:** IM GETTING SO IMPULSIVE WITH IT

**stab:** richie, i am going to give you some Serious Advice ok, can you handle it?

**dick: **i mean  
**dick:** hopefully

**stab: **ok here it goes  
**stab**: you gotta stop letting it slip that you like him/in love with him because when the time comes that you actually tell him that, he won’t believe you and chalk it up as another joke of yours and i’m pretty sure you don’t want that. or, if he likes you back, he might thin he’ll never have a chance with you because you keep brushing all these truths about your feelings as jokes. and i understand your defense mechanism are jokes & Voices & everything else but, dude, you don’t have to put walls up with eddie about your feelings.

**dick:** so what do i do then

**stab:** wait are you seriously about to take my advice

**dick:** tbh it depends on how i’m feeling tomorrow but the answer will most likely be yes

**stab:** oh my god college is changing you

**dick:** get on with the advice, stabby

**stab:** nvm

**dick:** mwah

**stab: **shut the fuck up  
**stab:** but try more obvious flirting, see if he flirts back, and things will develop from there

**dick:** what if they dont

**stab: **then they don’t and you’ll live and move on with someone you’re meant to be with  
**stab:** but between me & you i genuinely think that person is eddie whether or not he knows his feelings yet 

**dick:** u are the best brother-but-not-brother a guy could ever ask for, stan the man

**stab:** same to you

**dick:** hey

**stab: **i just let out the BIGGEST sigh  
** stab:** what do you want

**dick:** that was u? thought it was the wind

**stab:** richard

**dick:** stabley

**stab:** what do you want

**dick:** im not mad about it but why the fuck did u bring up the summer of hell

**stab:** oh that

**dick:** yeah THAT

**stab:** i May have had a nightmare about it last night & then you guys started talking about murdering so i casually brought it up

**dick:** do mike & bill know?

**stab:** no

**dick:** COMMUNICATION IS KEY TO A RELATIONSHIP, STANLEY

**stab: **I KNOW  
** stab:** but i didn't want to worry or bother them ya know?

**dick:** i mean sure yeah i guess  
** dick:** but we're all scarred from it so like,, they will understand. they aren't gonna be bothered

**stab:** i know but its still nerve wracking i guess

**dick:** Talk To Your Boyfriends

**stab:** i will

**dick:** promise?

**stab: **yes, i promise  
** stab:** did you seriously just text them & tell them i need to talk to them

**dick:** look i dont want u bottling it up like u did the entire year after so fucking yeah i did

**stab: **fuck you  
** stab: **but thanks  
** stan:** you're the best brother-but-not-brother a guy could ever ask for, richie

**dick:** ditto stabley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> question: would u guys mind if i somehow brought in/mention the st kids?? or like should i just make a gc fic like this for them & make the two fics ~loosely~ connected?


	6. there’s a flu epidemic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is short (it feels like it is anyway) & i was going to add more but i’m on vacation in the mountains & i wanted to update, so y’all are getting this. next chap will a part two to this one x

** _THE LOSER FAM _ **

_king bev changed eds's name to gremlin_

**gremlin:** WHY

**king bev:** BC UR BEING ONE THATS WHY

**staniel:** its fucking 2:30 in the morning you monsters

**king bev:** and yet ur up

**staniel:** touché

**gremlin:** IM NOT A FUCKING GREMLIN

**staniel:** where was this attitude when rich called u that on ft yesterday

**gremlin:** idk what ur talking about

**king bev:** WHAT SKJDLKSAJ

**staniel:** he GIGGLED

**king bev:** RICH CALLED U A GREMLIN AND U FUCKIN GIGGLED???

**gremlin:** IT WAS A SNEEZE

**mike n ike:** it was a giggle

**big bill:** full on, v big smile giggle  
**big bill:** we were there

**dickard:** both me & my roommate are gonna fucking kill u guys if u don't stop blowing up my phone

**mike n ike:** what if someone (eddie) blows something else of yours (ur dick)

**king bev:** richie.exe has stopped working

**staniel:** it's like almost midnight there tho rich

**dickard:** we're both sick  
**dickard:** eds ignore that

**staniel:** YOU WERE FINE YESTERDAY

**king bev:** WHAT DO U MEAN SICK

**mike n ike:** dude u never get sick

**big bill:** has eddie.exe stopped working too or  
**big bill:** and u must be seriously sick bc u didnt even react to mike's text

**gremlin:** WHAT DO YOU FUCKING MEAN BY SICK, LIKE ARE YOU DYING, DO I NEED TO CALL YOUR MOM, DO YOU NEED TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL LIKE WHAT THE FUCK YOU CANT JUST DROP THAT ON ME WHO THE FUCK IS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU TWO IF YOURE BOTH FUCKING SICK

**dickard:** roommate has a gf apparently & he says she has a v good immune system

**gremlin:** IM WORRIED YOU FUCK

**dickard:** hhhh

**king bev:** ok but what are u sick with

**dickard:** hhhhhhhhhh idk

**mike n ike:** cold?

**dickard:** def not cold

**staniel:** not are you cold but IS it a cold

**dickard:** do u think my roomie's gf would be coming over to take care of us if it was a fucking cold, stable

**big bill:** STABLE KDSFJLKJ

**staniel:** i'm going to ignore that  
staniel: for now

**dickard:** think i have the flu :(  
**dickard:** & i dont want roomie's gf i want my dr k

**king bev:** where did he go anyway

**gremlin:** freaking the fuck out its fine tho everything is FINE

**dickard:** just a flue

**staniel:** *flu

**dickard:** shut ur fuck

_dickard changed gremlin's name to dr k!_

**dr k:** w h y

**dickard:** ): dr k  
**dickard:** i think i only got it bc theres a flu epidemic going on  
**dickard:** like i even got my flu shot & shit

**dr k:** FLU EPIDEMIC

**mike n ike:** WHY did you have to use the word EPIDEMIC, RICHIE

**dr k:** OH MY GOF OURY GOONG TO DIE

**staniel:** he's not going to die, eddie

**dr k:** YOU DONT KNOW THAT

**staniel:** look all they have to do is go to the campus hospital

**king bev:** ur the med student here eddie   
king bev: as long as they get treated right with the tama flu or whatever they'll be fine

**dr k:** rich give ur phone to ur roommate

**dickard:** fucking why

**dr k:** bc

**dickard:** ok

**mike n ike:** oh well that was easy

**dickard:** hi? - lucas (richie's roommate)

**dr k:** hello!! you said your gf is going to take care of you two yeah?

**dickard:** uh yeah why - lucas

**dr k:** it would probably be best if you guys go to the campus hospital

**dickard:** but that takes energy neither of us have - lucas  
**dickard:** like we're both nearly passing out right now & its only thanks to autocorrect that any of this is being spelled correctly - lucas

**dr k:** hhhhhhhhh 

**dickard:** you ok man? - lucas

**king bev:** probably not, he gets anxious when any of us gets sick bc reasons u dont get to know  
**king bev:** Mom Mode basically  
**king bev:** back home he would take care of us if needed

**dickard:** oh damn i'm sorry man that this is making you feel that way - lucas  
**dickard:** i'll try to convince my gf to take us there in the a.m. - lucas

**dr k:** pls do

**dickard:** is that why you're dr k? - lucas

**dr k:** yeah

**big bill:** lmao yeah but rich mostly calls him that  
**big bill:** among other things

**dickard:** boyfriend? - lucas

**king bev:** he,  
**king bev: **something nearly came out that shouldnt have holy shit

**dr k:** NOT BOYFRIEND OH MYG DOSJF

**mike n ike:** u fucking giggled when he called u gremlin

**dr k:** HOW DOES THAT EQUATE TO BOYFRIEND

**dickard:** hello the big dick is back  
**dickard:** not even gonna read or ask why edsie babie is yelling about boyfriends

**king bev:** edsie,,,,,,,,baBIE

**staniel:** Oh Dear God

**big bill:** oh that's rlly cute

**dr k:** i am going to d i e

_[7:23 AM; NYC time]_

**benny boy:** oh shit i missed a lot  
**benny boy:** hope u get better rich!!

_[10:45 AM; NYC time]_

**dickard:** I Feel Like Death

**dr k:** YOU'RE ALIVE

**dickard: **did  
** dickard: **did u not just read my text  
** dickard:** I Feel Like Death

**dr k:** THAT DOESN'T EQUAL ACTUAL DEATH FUCKFACE

**dickard:** stop YELLING

**dr k: **ok sorry  
** dr k:** hows it going

**dickard:** im being forcefully dragged to the campus hospital by a tiny redhead that oddly reminds me of bev but she's more tomboy-ish & she rolls her eyes a lot like stan & lucas literally looks like he's about to lay on the ground and sleep

**dr k:** oh whats her name??

**dickard: **uhhh idk  
** dickard:** let me ask

**king bev: **ANOTHER REDHEAD?  
** king bev:** dont replace me :(

**dickard: **i could never tf  
** dickard:** max

**dr k:** that fits her tbh i think

**big bill: **whom what when where how why  
** big bill:** oH ur finally up

**mike n ike:** can we talk to max?

**benny boy:** i wanna meet this mixture of stan and bev

**staniel:** is this our Child

**king bev:** omg stan did we get married and not know????  
** king bev**: was i pregnant???

**staniel:** im a FATHER!??

**big bill:** yo that text does something to me

**mike n ike:** oof same

**dickard:** whats up dick's friends - max

**king bev:** im love u

**dickard:** sjkfkd aw thanks but im taken - max

**king bev:** ARE YOU BI

**dickard: **HOW DID U KNOW - max

**king bev: **BI-FI  
** king bev:** also somehow rich only befriends bi ppl outside of us like its fucking weird

**dickard:** ..... - lucas

**big bill:** ANOTHER BI

**dickard:** THIS IS HILARIOUS - max

**dr k:** hows rich?

**dickard:** are u the boyfriend-but-not-boyfriend? - max

**dr k:** am i the WHAT

**staniel:** ignore him, yes he is

**dr k:** STAN

**benny boy:** what am i missing  
** benny boy:** oh hi!! how's richie?

**dickard: **dick is........passing out in the waiting chairs with lucas - max  
** dickard:** i swear to god if they get me sick i am shoving firecrackers up their asses - max

**staniel: **FIRECRACKERS? SIGN ME TF UP  
** staniel:** wait for me and i'll help

**mike n ike:** stan has a weird love for firecrackers

**dickard:** lucas has a weird thing for fireworks in general so they might just along - max  
**dickard: **wait are u seriously a Mike - max

**mike n ike: **uh  
** mike n ike: **yes?  
** mike n ike:** hopefully that's not a bad thing

**dickard:** no its fine! we just have a friend named mike too - max

**big bill:** mike is a popular name 

**king bev:** whats he like

**dickard:** a bitch - max  
** dickard: **also low key looks like ur friend - max  
** dickard: **less glasses & freckles & straighter hair - max  
** dickard: **bi too - max  
** dickard:** also has a little bf-not-bf - max

**king bev:** KJFSLDKJL AMAZING

**dr k:** IM NOT HIS FUCKING BF-NOT-BF 

**staniel:** WHY

**dr k:** HWAT DO YOU MEAN WHY

**benny boy:** i cant wait for ur wedding day

**dr k:** EXCUSE ME??

**dickard:** oh god this is hilarious - max

**dr k:** I WILL SPILL ABOUT THE POEM TO U KNOW WHO BEN

**benny boy:** suddenly idk what yall are talking about

**king bev:** wait ben you wrote a poem?

**mike n ike:** IS IT FINALLY HAPPENIGN

**dickard:** omg hets - max

**big bill:** dont let them fool u max, bev is almost as big of a bi disaster as rich & ben is a shy little pan boi

**benny boy: **whyd u have to word it like that  
** benny boy:** and @ bev: yeah why

**dr k:** omgomomgomg

**king bev:** oh lol no reason

**benny boy:** oh ok

**staniel: **i'm  
** staniel:** i might follow through with the other day's convo about murdering

**dickard: **w,,  
** dickard:** what - max

**mike n ike:** we had a convo about murders & killings & shit

**big bill:** i hate that its somewhat normal

**dickard:** i want to judge but i cant bc im friends with a bunch of d&d nerds and we talk about fighting monsters & the government - max

**big bill:** fighting the government sounds fun ngl

**dickard:** it isnt - max

**big bill:** what

**king bev:** what

**mike n ike:** WHAT

**staniel:** ,what

**dickard:** you heard me - max

**dr k:** is rich alive

**dickard: **aw the bf-not-bf is worried :') - max  
** dickard:** but yeah he is they're both getting checked on now - max

**dr k:** ok thats good

_benny boy changed dr k's name to gremlin!_

**gremlin:** for fucks sake not again

_benny boy changed king bev's name to freakin bats!_

**freakin bats:** omg is this a vine reference

**benny boy:** yeah :))

**freakin bats:** I LOVE IT

**dickard:** the halloween spirit?? i love it - max

_freakin bats changed the group name to **SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS!**_

**freakin bats:** halloween is upon us

**big bill:** its only the beginning of the month

**dickard:** listen to the lady, bill - max

**big bill:** okokok sorry

**freakin bats:** :) thank u

**dickard**: no problem :) - max


	7. lots of freaking out

** _SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_ **

_[11:36 AM; NYC time]_

**dickard:** i have the medicine and back in the room w mucas lucas 

**staniel:** oh god u already gave him a nickname

**gremlin:** stop texting & rest fucker

**benny boy:** how’s lucas?

**dickard: **aw eds u care <3  
** dickard:** he passed out the instant he got in his bed

**gremlin: **ofc i care who tf do u think i am  
** gremlin:** now REST

**dickard:** im love u

**gremlin:** ditto ig

**big bill:** is this what the kids call romance now

**mike n ike:** if so we’re doing it wrong 

**staniel:** if so we’re doing it RIGHT for obvious reasons

**freakin bats:** that’s such subtle burn omg

**dickard:** why tf are u talking about romqnce

**benny boy:** richie i think u need rest

**gremlin:** he just called me & wont let me hang up someone help

**benny boy:** oh no fhdjks

**freakin bats:** sick richie is clingy richie x400  
** freakin bats:** & it’s always for his dr k !!

**benny boy:** lowkey i think of mr j when anyone says dr k

**mike n ike:** honestly same

**big bill:** but like,, if we’re comparing the relationships joker & harley are SO unhealthy where if SOMEONE got their shit together the other relationship would be healthy

**freakin bats:** i can’t wait for harley quinn & the birds of prey like my bi ass is QUAKING

**benny boy:** IT LOOKS SO GOOD

**mike n ike:** she looks so happy too like??? tf

**freakin bats:** SHE DID A ME WITH HER HAIR IN THE TRAILER DID U SEE????  
** freakin bats:** SHE DID THAT !!!!!!!!

**big bill:** I KNOW  
** big bill:** i thought of u when i saw that 

**benny boy:** dude same

**mike n ike:** i think we ALL thought of bev when we saw that in the trailer

**freakin bats: **omg uwu  
** freakin bats:** lmao mike comin thru with the victorious meme

**mike n ike:** i saw the opportunity and took it

**benny boy:** speaking of DC whos excited for joker??

**staniel:** I AM  
**staniel:** it looks good like i’d choose harley over him any day but the movie looks So Good i mean they both do, but 

**benny boy:** IT REALLY DOES IM SO FUCKING EXCITED

**freakin bats:** i might hate the joker as a person but as a villain hes amazing so therefore im gonna go see it the moment im able to  
**freakin bats:** & i absolutely love harley so im seeing birds of prey on opening night if i can

**staniel:** oof me too

**big bill:** date night?

**staniel:** which one?

**mike n ike:** both?

**staniel:** both

**big bill:** both is good

**mike n ike:** date nights it is then!!

**freakin bats:** thanks for reminding me how single i am guys

**benny boy:** what bev said

**staniel:** i mean  
** staniel:** you can easily fix that

**big bill:** hes right and he should say it

**benny boy:** KJFDLSKJ 

**freakin bats:** suddenly im blind

**mike n ike: **idiots  
** mike n ike:** both of u are idiots

**benny boy:** mike shut up

_[1:09 PM; NYC time]_

**mike n ike:** its like,,,,,,2 hours later or smth but  
**mike n ike:** i just realized eddie asked for our help & we all accidentally ignored him fjsksk

**big bill:** lmao whoops

**staniel:** oh no i meant to do that

**freakin bats:** i dont feel bad in the slightest 

**staniel:** what a mood

**mike n ike:** honestly...same

**benny boy:** @ eddie, u good?

**mike n ike:** ED ANSWER IF UR ALIVE

**big bill:** i’m tempted to use *** just to see what’ll happen

**freakin bats:** ooOOHH DONIT

**big bill:** does that say DONT or DO IT

**benny boy:** omg do it

**freakin bats: **DO IT  
** freakin bats: **ITS DO IT  
** freakin bats:** NONE OF US HAS USED *** BEFORE OMG

**staniel:** this is going to be hilarious

**mike n ike:** i feel like i should be the voice of reason and say no  
** mike n ike: **but like  
** mike n ike:** im curious too ya know??

**big bill:** omg im gonna do it

**benny boy:** GET ON WITH IT BILLIAM

**mike n ike:** ive got my popcorn ready

**freakin bats:** *reddie

**staniel:** JFKSKSJD

**mike n ike:** OH DJKSAJ

**big bill:** hey eds do u need us to help u or what like u kinda disappeared on us bro

**dickard:** the fuck did u jsut say

**big bill:** NOT HTE RAECTIPN FROM THE PRRSON I WAS EXPRECTING

**dickard:** that is MY nickname for eds u fucker

**freakin bats:** so many typos bill

**big bill: **shut up bev  
** big bill:** & chill rich!!! i was just trying to see what would happen

**dickard:** well its mine for eddie get ur own, pissy baby

**big bill: **PISSY BABY???  
** big bill:** CHILL RICH

**gremlin:** only rich can call me eds

**mike n ike:** WHTS

**staniel:** OH MYG OD

**freakin bats:** HOLYS FJIT

**gremlin:** THAT WASNT SUPPOSED TO SEND

**benny boy:** i GOT THE SCREENSHOTS

**freakin bats:** GOOD JOB, BENNY 

**dickard:** am i That Sick or did i read that right

**gremlin:** YOU'RE THAT SICK

**big bill:** YOU READ THAT RIGHT RICHIE HOLY SHIT

**gremlin:** NO I HATE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME EDS SHUIT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

**dickard:** WAIT DO YOU LEGIT ACTUALLY LIKE ME CALLING YOU EDS

**gremlin:** FUCK OFF

**dickard:** eds :)

**gremlin:** F U C K O F F

**dickard:** EDS SPAGHETS

**gremlin:** jusT BECAUSE I SAID ONLY U CAN CALL ME THAT DOESNT MEAN I LIKE IT

**dickard:** ur right

**gremlin:** thank u

**dickard:** YOU LVOE IT

**gremlin:** FKJCKSKJFSL NO

**freakin bats:** this is the best thing to happen all day

**gremlin:** SHUT THE FUCK UP BEVERLY

**benny boy:** i mean  
** benny boy:** we been knew

**gremlin:** BEN UR ON THIN ICE

**big bill:** richie is probably in heaven rn eddie

**mike n ike:** I KNEW U LIKED IT

**gremlin:** YOU ARE ALL FUCKING ANNOYING ASSHOLES

**staniel:** now date

**dickard:** STANLEY URIS SHUT THE FUCK UP

**gremlin: **STNA  
** gremlin:** oh-

**mike n ike:** oH

**freakin bats: **richie officially has lost all chill  
** freakin bats:** but i agree with stan

**big bill:** same bev

**staniel:** IM T I R E D

**dickard:** I WILL FIGHT YOU

**staniel:** I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU FUCKING TRY

**gremlin:** whatthefuckishappeningrightnow

**dickard:** I FUCKING WILL

**big bill:** as amusing as it would be to watch stan beat richie's ass

**mike n ike:** it would be pretty amusing

**benny boy:** omfg

**big bill:** please no fighting

**dickard:** i take huge offense, billiam

**big bill:** too bad so sad

**freakin bats:** so..is everything back to being somewhat calm again

**mike n ike:** i hope so  
**mike n ike:** as amusing as that was

**gremlin:** i'm still confused at what happened at the end there

**benny boy:** ed u stay confused

**gremlin:** fuck off  
**gremlin:** i mean ur right but fuck off

**benny boy:** u love me

**gremlin:** yeah 

**dickard:** do u love me? :(

**gremlin:** no

** _ EDDIE & RICHIE _ **

**eddie my love:** yes

**rich:** WAHTSTHEFUCK

**eddie my love:** tell any of the losers i said this & i'll murder u

**rich:** LOVE U TOO

**eddie my love:** shut up i hate you

**rich:** NO YOU DONT

**eddie my love: **oh my god  
**eddie my love:** go rest, you're sick

**rich:** BUT MY BEST FRIEND LOVES ME

**eddie my love:** you die of the flu & i'll fucking hate you

**rich:** fine i'll go rest :(

**eddie my love:** :)

**rich:** :))

** _ BILL & EDDIE _ **

**edward:** i've got the biggest crush on richie and I Want To Die

**billiam: **OH MGYFO

**edward: **shut UP  
**edward:** thats rlly all i want to say rn so we can talk more later

**billiam:** YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON ME & THEN GHOST ME

**edward:** oh whoops dont care

**billiam:** EDWARD

**edward:** gotta zayn!

**billiam:** THTA MEME SI ODL

**edward:** and u say i misspell a lot omg

**billiam:** SHUT UP WE GOOTTA TALK ABOUT THIS DEVELOPMENT  
**billiam:** EDDIE  
**billiam:** FUCK

_[2:56 PM; NYC time]_

**billiam: **what about now

**edward:** no

**billiam:** SHIT

_[3:14 PM; NYC time]_

**billiam:** now?

**edward:** i'm in class

**billiam:** :/

_[7:45 PM; NYC time]_

**billiam: **so  
**billiam:** how abuot  
**billiam: **now

**edward:** OH MY GOD  
**edward: **i will text you when i want to talk about it  
**edward: **ok?  
**edward:** NOW FUCKING CHILL

**billiam:** u r a btich

**edward: **new plan  
**edward:** u learn how to fucking spell and then maybe we can talk

**billiam: **ko  
**billiam: **WIST  
**billiam: **SIHT  
**billiam:** i gibe uop


	8. it's soft hours, fellas

** _ RICHIE & BEN _ **

_[10:02 AM; NYC time]_

**trashmouth:** so  
**trashmouth:** u like bev right?

**haystack:** i have no idea what ur talking about

**trashmouth:** oh on the contrary my dear haystack  
**trashmouth:** i think u DO know what im talking about

**haystack:** what happens if i say i do

**trashmouth:** then i'll admit that i like eds

**haystack:** SJDFL HOLY SHIT OKA  
**haystack:** i mean im not surprised u do but im more surprised about u admitting it

**trashmouth:** im not admitting anything until u admit anything

**haystack:** ok

**trashmouth:** cool

**haystack:** so  
**haystack:** i like bev

**trashmouth:** cool cool cool cool cool cool cool  
**trashmouth:** i like eddie

**haystack:** noice

**trashmouth:** yep

**haystack:** did u have a reason for this

**trashmouth:** i did!  
** trashmouth:** so we're both.....pining ig u could say

**haystack:** oof yeah definitely  
**haystack:** since freshman year, man

**trashmouth:** KJDFSL SAME

**haystack:** REALLY?

**trashmouth: **YEAH  
** trashmouth: **i knew that tbh ur not subtle

**haystack:** i can say the exact thing about u  
**haystack:** the others Definitely know 

**trashmouth:** oh yeah stan & bev know about me liking eddie bc i told them but idk about the others  
**trashmouth: **stan knows about u liking bev & i wouldnt be surprised if bill & mike do too. i think eddie might?  
** trasmnouth:** but bev,,, i love her dude but she's fucking oblivious

**haystack:** so is eddie dude  
**haystack:** like i thought he knew for sure during high school but alas....

**trashmouth:** AM I REALLY THAT OBVIOUS

**haystack:** ....u gave him a bear of valetine's day, tried to kiss him one new years, got jealous at a party bc the cheer leaders were hogging him & one was flirting hard with him, & there's many more

**trashmouth: **ok u have a Point  
** trashmouth: **hold on wait  
** trashmouth: **u dated bill  
** trashmouth:** how the fuck

**haystack:** ok so like.....i was genuinely trying to figure out my sexuality  
**haystack:** and idk bill in a baseball uniform did something for me back then. it wasn't a big or serious thing at all like bill asked me to hang out & suddenly we were dating for a short amount of time. we broke it off when we both realized "oh shit i like someone else still"  
**haystack:** was ur thing with bill serious?

**trashmouth:** oh fuck no lmao  
**trashmouth:** bill was doing what u did when u dated him & i was trying to get rid of my feelings for one best friend by kissing the other  
**trashmouth:** obviously it didnt work

**haystack:** ajdslkfjs obviously

**trashmouth:** so since we're Pining Friends

**haystack:** I LIKE THAT NAME HOLD ON

_haystack changed the chat name to **PINING FRIENDS!**_

**haystack:** :))

**trashmouth:** benny i love u  
**trashmouth:** this is lowkey cute tf

**haystack:** not as cute as bev

**trashmouth:** or eds

**haystack:** oh we've got it bad jdflksj

**trashmouth:** WE REALLY DO

**haystack:** anyway what were u saying?

**trashmouth:** oh right!  
**trashmouth:** so like i said, since we're Pining Friends  
**trashmouth:** why dont we try to help one another out

**haystack:** like u drop hints to bev & i drop hints to eddie?

**trashmouth:** yeah EXACTLY !!  
**trashmouth:** i've been trying to do that with bev but she's Dumb and Bi

**haystack:** i flat out told eddie u liked him & he said i was joking so like  
**haystack:** ur boy is also Dumb

**trashmouth:** that gay little gremlin is a menace istg

**haystack:** KDJSFLK OK THEN

**trashmouth:** A MENACE TO MY HEART  
**trashmouth:** HE MAKES IT BEAT UNGODLY FAST BEN

**haystack:** i just awed out loud

**trashmouth:** I WANT TO MAKE HIM A PLAYLIST

**haystack:** im surprised u havent already

**trashmouth: **CORRECTION  
** trashmouth: **I WANT TO MAKE HIM ANOTHER PLAYLIST  
** trashmouth:** HE MAKES ME A SAP I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DOW TIH MYSELF

**haystack:** oh my god i relate so hard  
**haystack:** i wrote bev a POEM  
**haystack:** A FUCKING POEM

**trashmouth:** IS THAT WHAT EDS WAS REFERRING TO THAT ONE TIME

**haystack:** YES

**trashmouth:** dude u got it bad

**haystack: **SO DO YOU  
** haystack: **"i want to make him a playlist"  
** haystack:** next thing u know ur gonna go to the kissing bridge in derry & carve ur initials

**trashmouth: **haha yeah

**haystack:** holy shit u didnt

**trashmouth:** about that,,

**haystack:** RICHIE

**trashmouth:** i May have done that in junior year

**haystack:** YOURE FULL ON IN LOVE WITH EDDIE

**trashmouth:** HELL YEAH I AM

**haystack:** HOLY SHIT

**trashmouth:** YOURE IN LOVE WITH BEV!!!!

**haystack:** SO MUCH, YEAH, OH MY GOD

**trashmouth:** this is,,  
**trashmouth:** holy shit  
**trashmouth:** im so glad im not alone in this department

**haystack:** dude same

**trashmouth:** but

**haystack:** but?

**trashmouth:** it sucks

**haystack:** it does?

**trashmouth: **for me, not so much for you  
** trashmouth:** im not considering the fact that we're both guys as something that sucks bc the world is gradually becoming more opening to same sex couples  
** trashmouth:** im considering the fact the fact that there's fucking thousands of miles between us as something that sucks

**haystack:** that fact shouldnt matter

**trashmouth:** ben wtf

**haystack:** no listen to me  
**haystack:** long distance relationships are a thing, and maybe not all of them end in a happy ending but regular relationships are the exact same way. some end, some dont, some end and start again. some people arent meant for one another and others are, that's just life, really. but i genuinely think you and eddie can pull off a long distance relationship just bc you guys are so close and always have been, and i really do believe you are meant for one another. it'll always be richie&eddie with you two. sure you're your separate people outside of your friendship (hopefully to-be relationship) but you're like...a package deal. get one, get the other for free whether u like it or not  
**haystack:** and your heart belongs to eddie. thats why you couldnt get over him by using bill. and it will always belong to eddie, i can see that. but just because that's that doesnt mean long distance relationships are hard bc im sure they are. they're certainly nothing easy but richie&eddie can pull it off, i fully believe that

**trashmouth:** benny boy you just fucking made me cry 

**haystack:** oH NO IM SO SORRY

**trashmouth:** NO DONT BE  
** trashmouth:** its just...we're not even together, ben, but u seriously think all of that?

**haystack:** i wouldn't have said it if i didn't, rich  
** hyastack:** you two belong together

**trashmouth:** i fucking love you benny

**haystack:** love you too man

**trashmouth: **and if it means anything to you  
** trashmouth: **you & bev definitely belong together  
** trashmouth:** not to get even more sappy but i've never seen bev smile as big or as much as she does when she's with you, talks about you, hell even thinks about you. same goes with you. the two of u make each other SO fucking happy that i know youre meant to be. & i think bev knows how she feels but she doesnt want to feel anything for a guy bc of her dad, yknow? and i think once she gets over that fear she'll be even happier & so will u. it just makes sense. ben&bev. benverly. the only het couple who deserves rights

**haystack:** i might possibly be crying over my physics homework in a cafe

**trashmouth:** OH SHIT iM SORRY

**haystack:** its all good tho!! happy tears, i never thought you would think something like that  
**haystack:** you two are like brother & sister (& then stan's another bro to u both) so i was expecting some harsh brotherly type love but that was the exact opposite

**trashmouth: **dude i'd never do that to you  
** trashmouth: **i've know u since middle school  
** trashmouth: **u fought 2 psychos with us  
** trashmouth: **u helped get bev back when he who shall not be named kidnapped her!!!!  
** trashmouth:** why would i go over protective mode when u literally saved her life

**haystack:** The Tears Are Back  
**haystack:** maybe i've always thought u never considered me that good of a friend. like...all of you

**trashmouth:** are you fucking joking

**haystack:** no

**trashmouth:** you wouldnt be in the losers club if that was the case, ben  
**trashmouth:** i know we dont talk a lot & maybe we shouldve spent more time together during high school  
**trashmouth:** but you're the best person someone could ask for  
**trashmouth:** i love you ben, and so do the others

**haystack:** im overwhelmed with Fond  
**haystack:** i love you too richie  
**haystack:** the exact same thing goes to you. you might be crude &have dumb jokes but i wouldn't change you for the world

**trashmouth:** to quote you, "The Tears Are Back"

**haystack:** you're a good person richie. we all love you

**trashmouth: **fuck  
** trashmouth:** you're the best ben hanscom

**haystack:** Its Soft Hours

**trashmouth:** The Softest Hours

**haystack:** <3 

**trashmouth:** MWAH

** _ SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS _ **

_[10:27 AM; NYC time]_

**gremlin: **wh  
** gremlin:** ben why are u crying in a cafe

**freakin bats:** HE IS W H A T

_gremlin sent a picture!_  
_ [desc. slightly blurry photo through a window the inside a cafe; ben sitting in a booth; papers & a text book in front of him, clearly crying]_

**freakin bats:** WHO DO I HAVE TO FUCKING FIGHT

**mike n ike:** whom the fuck made benny boy cry

**staniel:** im not the overly violent type but i might just have to buy a gun

**big bill:** YOU CAN SEE THE TEARS WHAT THE HELL

**dickard:** BEN YOU DIDNT TELL ME U WERE FUCKING SOBBING

**haystack:** I DIDNT WANT TO WORRY U

**freakin bats: **THE FUCK HAPPENED  
** freakin bats:** EDDIE HUG HIM

**gremlin:** I AM  
** gremlin:** HES LAUGHING IM ????

**mike n ike:** RICHIE WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO

**staniel:** i will fucking fly to california and literally fight you. i dont give a shit that you still have the flu, i will fight you.

**dickard:** BEFORE ANY OF YOU KILL ME LET ME EXPLAIN

**benny boy:** its nothing bad, honestly sfkjslkf

**dickard:** ok so ben & i were talking via texts as best friends do

**big bill:** i can Hear bev sharpening a knife

**freakin bats:** no one fucking makes ben cry

**mike n ike:** to be fair, ben does cry easily

**benny boy:** i really do

**dickard:** and things got sappy quick. like really fucking sappy and we were sharing long ass fucking texts back and forth. & so like, ben sent me this long text with sappy words & i cried bc im hella fucking emotional when sick & just to make sure he knew that i love him, i sent a long text back and i accidentally made ben cry. it wasn't my intention i just wanted to make sure ben knew that he's loved by me. and by you guys too

**benny boy:** it was Soft Hours, fellas

**freakin bats:** hold up  
** freakin bats:** ben u thought we dont love u?

**benny boy:** i was just uncertain. i Know that you guys do but i didnt have any friends before you guys, so i used to think that you guys were my friends out of pity. that went away eventually, but now with us all separated that feeling of not truly being your friend has come back some

**mike n ike:** dude we fucking love the shit out of you

**dickard:** i told him hes the best person someone can ask for

**gremlin: **HE IS  
** gremlin:** IM THE ONE CRYING NOW

**benny boy: **slfkj he is  
** benny boy:** he's also holding me and telling me over and over again that im loved by u guys

**staniel:** bc you are loved by us, ben  
**staniel:** we're a fucking family

**big bill: **you're literally the bset out of all us  
** big bill: **no offense to anyone else but like,,  
** big bill:** its true

**freakin bats:** i could write a 5 page paper, times new roman, 12 pt font on why ben is the best person in the entire world

**dickard:** omg bev do it

**freakin bats:** BET

**dickard:** YEAH

**freakin bats:** IM DOING IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW

**dickard:** YES

**benny boy:** omg what no bev its ok

**freakin bats:** LET ME COMPLIMENT YOU IN 5 PAGES, BENJAMIN

**benny boy: **i  
** benny boy:** ok

**gremlin:** wait rich why did you cry?

**dickard:** whom

**gremlin:** you said ben made you cry?

**big bill:** oh fuck, yeah waht did ben say to you

**mike n ike:** rich omg are u ok

**staniel:** i would threaten ben but now that we know that no harm was done i'm not going to

**benny boy:** i feel loved :)

**staniel:** as you fucking should

**dickard:** just.....reasons

**big bill: **do we need to bring bev back & make her threaten it out of u

**dickard: **NO  
** dickard: **geez ok ben just said that he believes that me & the guy i like are meant to be & i got emotional  
** dickard:** nothing dramatic

**staniel:** well i mean,, he's right

**benny boy:** they !! belong !! together !!

**mike n ike:** i think i know who this guy is and like  
**mike n ike:** ben's right

**big bill:** OF COURSE YOU ARE MEANT TO BE

**gremlin:** .....who?

**big bill: **DUMBASS

**dickard:** i'll tell u another day, eds

**gremlin:** why not now?  
**gremlin:** everyone else obviously knows

**dickard:** uh

**mike n ike:** *grabs popcorn*

**dickard:** just...later ok?

**gremlin: **oh  
** gremlin:** alright

**staniel: **hey uh  
**staniel:** can we go back to what ben said for a moment  
**staniel:** about us not truly being his friends. kind of

**mike n ike:** yeah why?

**gremlin:** sure 

**dickard:** whats up stan the man

**staniel:** can i be honest real quick?

**freakin bats:** heck yeah u can

**staniel:** i'm like high key scared of the losers club drifting apart as college goes on

**big bill:** that wont happen, stan

**gremlin:** i'll die before that day happens

**dickard:** then i'd die bc eddie died

**mike n ike:** rich

**dickard: **sorry  
** dickard:** but that's not going to happen stan

**freakin bats:** we'll always be friends  
**freakin bats:** u dont need to be so scared stan, i promise

**benny boy:** why do u think we'll drift apart?

**staniel:** its just rare for friends from middle school to stay friends for so long  
**staniel:** and we call ourselves a family but sometimes even families drift apart after a while, and i just don't want that to happen to us but i'm so scared that it might

**mike n ike:** but we're not like other friend groups or found families

**big bill:** not to mention, we're literally dating, stan. i plan on staying with u and mike forever

**gremlin:** no matter what, we're gonna stick together

**dickard:** its bc we're losers   
**dickard:** the biggest losers in the entire fucking world  
**dickard:** no one else could deal with us if they even tried

**mike n ike:** we have shared trauma. none of us are going anywhere. and sure, we're all in different parts of the country bc of college & we may get other friends bc of that but no one will have with us what we already have with one another

**freakin bats:** we love you stan

**staniel: **you guys are seriously too good for me

**big bill:** um no we're just the right about of good for you

**gremlin: **mike's right  
** gremlin: **this group has something different than other friendships. we're going to grow old together, all of us, in some way

**benny boy:** we didnt fight for each other for nothing

**staniel:** now I'M the one crying

**benny boy:** eddie & me are crying too 

**big bill:** i had to go to the bahtroom in the middle of class to hide my tears sdfkjslkj

**mike n ike:** jenna marbles is playing in the background as i cry

**freakin bat:** oof im crying too

**dickard:** yikes so am i 

**gremlin:** are we ok

**mike n ike:** i think we've decided no, we are not

**staniel:** i just really love you guys & i dont want to lose you

**freakin bats:** we'll have to die for that to happen

**big bill:** bev speaks the truth

**mike n ike:** we love you too

**big bill:** always will

**dickard:** u know i love u stan

**gremlin:** love you man

**freakin bats:** <3 <3

**benny boy:** love you, buddy

**staniel:** love you guys, too :) <3

**dickard:** penis 

**mike n ike:** way to ruin the mood richie

**big bill:** SDJFLK

**dickard:** IT WAS GETTING TOO SERIOUS

**gremlin:** i hate that i laughed

**freakin bats:** same eddie

**mike n ike:** ok u've got a point there

**dickard:** i'll show u a point ;)

**staniel:** RICHIE

**dickard:** SORRY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trashstack rights, motherfucker


	9. ben is going to marry niall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a mess and the first part is just me projection my love for niall & lewis capaldi onto ben, richie & mike. the rest is just the regularly programmed stanbranlon, reddie & benverly shit. enjoy!!

** _SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_ **

_[2:04 AM; NYC time]_

**benny boy:** i want to marry lewis capadli's voice

**dickard: **wh  
** dickard:** who's

**benny boy:** LEWIS CAPALDI

**mike n ike:** how the ever loving fuck do you not know who lewis fucking capadli is

**dickard:** i just dont pls dont murder me dskfjl

**benny boy:** HE HAS THE PRETTIEST VOICE  
**benny boy:** HE'S SCOTTISH  
**benny boy:** HE'S GOOD FRIENDS WITH NIALL

**dickard:** niall as in horan?

**benny boy:** HWO ESLE

**mike n ike:** oh my god rich u got ben worked up

**dickard:** DID I BREAK BEN  
**dickard:** hE NEVER MISSPELLS

**mike n ike:** SFLKJJFJ

**benny boy:** go listen to his music RIGHT NOW

**dickard:** what if i dont like his music

**benny boy:** you will.

**dickard:** that,,,, that sounds like a threat

**mike n ike:** omg just listen to lewis capadli's songs

**dickard:** ok ok  
**dickard:** everything is So Red on spotify  
**dickard:** i love it  
**dickard:** IWAT HE'S THE ONE WHO SINGS THIS

_dickard sent a picture_  
_ [desc. screenshot of someone you loved played halfway through]_

**benny boy:** YES

**dickard:** THIS SONG HAS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR THE PAST WEEK

**benny boy:** ITS GOOD ISNT IT??

**dickard:** oh fuck yes i understand completely about wanting to marry his voice

**mike n ike:** its so Raspy 

**benny boy:** hhhnngg

**mike n ike:** u ok benny

**benny boy:** yes i just really love lewis capaldi's voice

**dickard:** what if niall and lewis did a song together

**mike n ike: **ohmygod  
** mike n ike:** rich ur legit gonna kill ben

**dickard:** ITS A GENUINE QUESTION  
** dickard: **i'd bust a nut  
** dickard: **imagine their voices together  
** dickard:** IMAGINE IT

**mike n ike:** ,,,i suddenly need a song with niall horan & lewis capaldi

**dickard:** it would sound like a duo of angels

**mike n ike:** an irish angel and a scottish angel

**dickard:** SPEAKING OF  
**dickard:** ben have u listened to niall's new song?  
**dickard:** ben??

**mike n ike:** ben

**dickard:** BEN

**mike n ike:** BENNY

**dickard:** oh god did i actually kill him

**mike n ike:** OH NO JDKSJFN

**benny boy:** just trying to recuperate from you putting the idea of a song sung by both niall & lewis in my head  
**benny boy:** and OF COURSE i've heard niall's new song what the fucking hell, rich

**dickard:** YOU JUST HAVENT FREAKED OVER IT DONT GET PISSY, PINING BUDDY

**mike n ike:** pining buddy?

**dickard:** pining buddy!

**benny boy:** we're pining buddies  
**benny boy:** we both have Big Fucking Crushes on someone

**mike n ike:** pls tell me its not the same person 

**benny boy:** slkfj no dont worry

**dickard:** we dont need THAT kind of drama   
**dickard:** but back to niall horan  
**dickard:** i watched the nice to meet ya music vid & ben i might just have to marry niall before u

**benny boy:** no tf u aint

**dickard:** WANNA BET

**benny boy:** BET

**mike n ike:** ladies CHILL  
**mike n ike:** i have a simple solution  
**mike n ike:** you BOTH marry niall

**dickard:** wait that means im married to ben

**benny boy:** would that be a bad thing

**dickard:** not in the slightest dude ur like a brazilian soccer player

**benny boy:** oh so u just want me for my body??

**dickard:** WTF NO

**benny boy:** GOOD

**dickard:** but would marrying me be a bad thing

**benny boy:** nah but eddie might murder me

**mike n ike:** skdsdfklj YOURE RIGHT BEN

**dickard:** simple solution  
**dickard:** he marries niall too

**benny boy:** i mean... yeah

**mike n ike:** what if i also want to marry niall

**benny boy:** you have stan and bill Right There

**mike n ike:** ok & we're talking about niall not them

**dickard:** who wouldn't marry niall tho he's the entire package  
**dickard:** he's FUNNY  
**dickard:** has the best laugh ever in existence 

**benny boy:** atheltic

**mike n ike:** he's fuckin irish

**benny boy:** pretty blue eyes

**mike n ike:** musically talented

**dickard:** a fucking sweetheart

**benny boy:** HES FRIENDS WITH SHAWN MENDES

**dickard:** all around just Good Guy

**mike n ike:** wait guys  
**mike n ike:** he has one (1) flaw

**dickard:** oh i know where ur going with this sdjskd

**benny boy:** SO DO I

**mike n ike:** he cant fucking cook

**dickard:** THE UNSEASONED CHIKECNE

**benny boy:** IT LOOKED SO BLAND

**mike n ike:** that poor boy he probably thinks salt is spicy 

**benny boy:** MIKE

**mike n ike:** LET ME DRAG THE WHITE BOY FOR HIS UNSEASONED CHICKEN

**dickard:** to be fair he did season it afterwards

**mike n ike:** LIKE THAT DOES ANYTHIGN

**freakin bats:** as much as i fucking love niall james horan myself, i have 2 tests tomorrow & your fangirling is keeping me up so for the LOVE OF GOD let me sleep or i will marry the irishman myself & not invite you three shits to the wedding, got it?

**dickard:** yes sir got it sir

**mike n ike:** sorry bev we'll stop

**benny boy:** sorry bev!! good luck on your tests <3

**freakin bats:** thanks ben (:

_[7:45 AM; NYC time]_

**big bill:** what the ever lovnig fuck

** _ STANBRANLON _ **

_[1:30 PM; Florida time]_

**mikey:** loves of my live

**stanny:** are u shitting again

**mikey:** NO

**billy:** sjflskj  
**billy:** why did u ask if he's shitting

**stanny:** bc he was shitting the last time he texted loves of my live  
**stanny:** which is also when he came up with the groupchat from hell

**billy:** its not hell!!!!

**stanny:** its Chaotic  
**stanny:** did u not read last night's texts from ben, rich & mike??

**billy:** ok yes but the conversation was valid  
**billy:** have u listened to lewis capaldi??  
**billy:** have u SEEN niall horan?????

**stanny:** YES GEEZ

**billy: **ooooh are u jealous that mike said he'd marry niall??

**stanny:** no.

**billy:** WAIT ARE YOU

**stanny:** I SAID NO LET ME WALK TO CLASS IN PEACE

**billy:** ITS NIALL HORAN ITS NOT AS IF HE HAS A CHANCE  
**billy:** no offense babe but like....it's niall we're talking about

**mikey:** none taken dude i get it skfjls

**stanny:** i am not jealous.

**mikey:** i think ur a lil jelly

**billy:** just a taf  
**billy:** tab

**mikey:** bill for the love of god start using autocorrect

**billy:** no f u

**stanny:** you fuckers are insufferable

**mikey:** u love us tho

**billy:** but ya love us

**stanny:** questionable at this moment in time

_[2:45 PM; Florida time]_

**mikey:** loves of my live

**stanny:** dude im in class

**billy:** so am i  
**billy:** shouldnt u be in class mikey?

**mikey:** no im at work  
**mikey:** i just realized i never said what i wanted to earlier

**billy:** make it quick bc my history prof hates us having our phones out

**mikey:** we should go on a date  
**mikey:** not a movie date  
**mikey:** like something Romantic

**billy:** how wiuld we do that

**mikey:** by leaving the apartment for something other than school and work

**stanny:** we're broke, michael

**mikey: **i dont mean expensive romantic  
**mikey:** im sure there are cheap places around for broke college students

**billy:** i mean,, we havent had a nice dinner out in a while

**stanny:** that's true, yeah

**mikey:** i just wanna romance u 

**stanny:** we're literally dating

**mikey:** that just makes me want to romance u harder

**billy:** im down for being romanced

**mikey:** stan wbu

**stanny: **i mean i'm always down to be romanced  
** stanny:** but like do we have the money

**mikey:** im the one doing the romancing so let me worry about that

**stanny: **hhh  
** stanny:** ok

**mikey:** yay!!

**billy:** is this happening tonight, or

**mikey:** idk whenever i find a good place ig

**stanny:** as long as its before midterm week i'm fine

**mikey:** oh shit thats coming up isnt it

**billy:** like next week yeah

**stanny:** oh Fuck

**mikey: **DAMN  
**mikey:** tomorrow night sound good?

**stanny:** good with me :)

**billy:** saem

**mikey:** bill,,, sweetie

**billy:** im not fucking using authocorrect

**stanny:** i'll steal his phone tonight & put it on dw

**billy:** TRAITOR

**mikey:** thank u stan

**stanny:** (:

**billy:** wait can we talk more about how stan was jealous over niall

**mikey:** skjfl later

**stanny:** i'm back to hating you

** _EDDIE & RICHIE_ **

_[12:31 AM; NYC time]_

**eddie my love:** bitch

**rich <3:** thats me  
**rich <3**: wait what did i do

**eddie my love:** nothing i just wanted to call u a bitch

**rich <3:** wow im rlly feeling the love tonight

**eddie my love:** as u should  
**eddie my love:** anyway  
**eddie my love:** not to skip over halloween or anything but thanksgiving is next month

**rich <3:** yes thats usually how the holidays work

**eddie my love:** shut the fuck up

**rich <3:** also W H Y would u skip the sacred holiday of Halloween

**eddie my love:** bc we dont get out of school for halloween??

**rich <3:** we should :/

**eddie my love:** totally agree  
**eddie my love:** but yeah thanksgiving break,, which is also fall break,,,

**rich <3:** what about it

**eddie my love:** when are u going back to derry?

**rich <3: **uhhhhh  
** rich <3:** christmas bc i dont have enough money to go both times

**eddie my love:** so ur going to be in cali for thanksgiving?  
**eddie my love:** alone?

**rich <3:** yeah why

**eddie my love:** well ok so i WAS going to drive back to derry to visit my ma but i also just.....dont want to see her. that sounds bad but its true. and like, bev & ben & stanbranlon are going to see their fams but i just dont wanna go & i'd love to spend time with them but i know that i'll just be stuck with my ma all 2 weeks of the break & i dont want that so i was thinking that maybe i could visit you??? like you dont need to spend a holiday alone & i dont wanna spend it alone either so like,, yeah

**rich <3:** but planes give u Anxiety

**eddie my love:** yeah but it beats spending time with my suffocating mother  
**eddie my love:** if you dont want me to come just say so

**rich <3:** no i want you to!! i just didnt think you would visit bc of the plane fear thing

**eddie my love:** car crashes are more common than plane crashes, so  
**eddie my love:** a flight is probably safer

**rich <3:** i would fucking love it if u came over eds

**eddie my love:** really?

**rich <3:** fuck yeah really

**eddie my love:** ok good bc i already bought the plane tickets

**rich <3:** KSDFJKL WHAT  
**rich <3:** ITS STILL LIKE A MONTH AWAY EDS

**eddie my love:** i wasnt about to buy the tickets last minute fuckface

**rich <3:** aww have u missed me? ;)

**eddie my love:** not in the slightest

**rich <3:** i think u have

**eddie my love:** ok so what if thats true

**rich <3:** idk i havent thought that far yet

**eddie my love:** sigh

**rich <3:** did u rlly just type out 'sigh'

**eddie my love:** fuck off

**rich <3:** fuck you

**eddie my love:** gladly

**rich <3:** qHWAT

**eddie my love:** 'tis a joke

**rich <3:** EDDIE FUCKING KASPBRAK  
**rich <3:** YOU GAVE ME AHEART ATAACK  
**rich <3:** fuck YOU  
**rich <3:** wait thats what got us here in the first place

**eddie my love:** nOW U KNOW HOW I FEEL WHEN U DO THAT 

**rich <3:** OH HOW MATURE

**eddie my love:** MATURE IS MY MIDDLE NAME

**rich <3:** thats the biggest fucking lie youve ever told me

**eddie my love:** i can be mature

**rich <3:** doesnt mean its ur middle name

**eddie my love:** sure it does

**rich <3:** no

**eddie my love:** uh yes

**rich <3:** ur middle name is FRANK

**eddie my love:** no i legally changed it to MATURE

**rich <3:** no?? u didnt?????

**eddie my love:** ok but u literally did change ur middle name to trashmouth

**rich <3:** FOR LIKE A WEEK UNTIL MY PARENTS FIGURED IT OUT

**eddie my love:** honestly how did u even pull that off

**rich <3:** idk but i'll pull something else off if u want me to

**eddie my love: **wh,  
** eddie my love:** im going to bed

**rich <3:** IM JOKING COME BACK

**eddie my love:** stop JOKING

**rich <3:** thats literally my brand i cant

**eddie my love:** sometimes i wonder why i even like you

**rich <3:** why u even what

**eddie my love:** .........as a friend

**rich <3:** oh lmao obviously yeah

**eddie my love:** lol yeah

**rich <3:** talk to u later ig 

**eddie my love:** yep! :)

**rich <3:** :]

** _ BEN & BEV _ **

_[1:22 AM; NYC time]_

**loml:** hey u awake?

**ben handsome:** yeah why

**loml:** wanna go late night adventuring through ny

**ben handsome:** sure!!  
**ben handsome:** are you alright?

**loml:** yeah my insomnia's just really bad tonight. the melatonin isn't even helping

**ben handsome:** oh fuck thats no fun :(

**loml:** i know :(  
**loml:** why arent u sleeping?

**ben handsome:** i woke up to pee & then got ur text

**loml:** oh nice dlkjfs

**ben handsome:** meet me at the café we ate at last time?

**loml:** yeah!! be there in 20 

**ben handsome:** great :) see u then bev

**loml:** see u then future mr horan ;)

**ben handsome:** oh god slfjdk


	10. eating fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't know what the fuck this chapter is, but it got waaaayyyyy more plot-y than i originally planned when i first started writing it. hope u enjoy!
> 
> also!! i just wanna thank anyone who has left comments, it makes me so happy that u guys are liking this so far! & i absolutely suck at replying to comments, but i'll get to them eventually. i swear im not ignoring anyone, i just genuinely suck at answering anything lmao

**_SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_**

_[12:21 AM; NYC time]_

**dickard:** someone come get ur boy he's being dumb - lucas

**big bill:** huh

**dickard:** ur BOY - lucas  
**dickard:** richie - lucas  
**dickard:** he's being DUMB - lucas

**staniel:** well i mean thats nothing unusual

**freakin bats:** yeah ur gonna have to be Specific

**dickard:** hes trying to eat fire - lucas  
**dickard:** while high - lucas

**gremlin:** he's WHAT

**dickard:** wait who are you - lucas

**gremlin:** HWAT DO YOU MEAN WHO AM I

**mike n ike:** dr k

**freakin bats:** dr k

**staniel:** dr k

**dickard:** OH - lucas  
**dickard:** shouldve known he has "mylobesjflksdjfsfjlak

**mike n ike:** he has w .hat

**dickard:** NOTHING IMPORTANT

**staniel:** somehow i feel like that is a lie

**dickard:** u know what stab?? shut the fuck up

**gremlin:** YOU WERE TRYING TO E A T FIRE??????

**big bill:** honestly im no tsurprised

**dickard:** I WANTED TO BECOME A DRAGON

**staniel:** oh my god.

**benny boy:** maybe letting him go to cali by himself was a mistake  
**benny boy:** no one is over there to control him

**gremlin:** THATS THE MOST STUPIDEST THING YOUVE EVER TRIED TO DO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, RICHARD

**freakin bats:** im so tempted to hop on a plane rn and just fly over there to keep u from doing more dumb and dangerous shit 

**benny boy:** bev u would just join him dont lie

**freakin bats:** ssshhh they dont need to know that

**mike n ike:** we can read, bev

**freakin bats:** hmmmmmmmm sure

**big bill:** a.....a dragon

**mike n ike:** ???? tf

**staniel:** .....i can't. i just can't

**dickard:** PEOPLE EAT FIRE ALL THE TIME

**gremlin:** no?? they DONT???

**dickard:** THOSE BADASS PERFORMERS DO

**gremlin:** THEYRE CALLED PERFORMERS FOR A FUCKING REASON  
**gremlin:** AND THEYRE PROFESSIONALS  
**gremlin:** AND THEY DONT ACTUALLY EAT THE FIRE THEY FUCKING SNUFF IT OUT IN THEIR MOUTSH

**dickard:** SAME DIFFERNCE

**gremlin:** NO??? IT ISNT

**mike in ike:** wait eddie how do u even know that

**freakin bats:** yeah EDDIE

**benny boy:** oh my god please tell me you didn't try to eat fire

**gremlin:** no im not richie  
**gremlin:** but

**dickard:** should i be offended or

**big bill:** "but"  
**big bill:** oh shit

**staniel:** b u t

**benny boy:** oh god there's a but

**staniel:** no WAIT  
**staniel:** EDDIE DON'T YOU DARE

**gremlin:** this isnt even related to this in the slightest but i read something about ppl "eating" fire and shit so like the dumbass that i am i may hAVE DARED STAN TO DO IT A COUPLE YEARS AGO  
**gremlin:** BUT WITH A FIRECRACKER

**staniel:** EDWARD FUCKING KASPBRAK

**benny boy:** how are you even alive

**dickard:** A FIRECRACKER?

**mike n ike:** o,h,, my gof

**freakin bats:** so,, u dared stan  
**freakin bats:** to EAT a firecracker  
**freakin bats:** while d r u n k

**gremlin:** basically

**big bill:** did he do it?

**staniel:** i get NO CONCERN from you, bill what the fuck

**big bill:** i mean obvs ur ok ur alive bro

**staniel:** did my boyfriend just call me bro

**big bill:** romantically tho

**mike n ike:** i mean i call u guys dude like all the time

**staniel:** ok alright yeah

**benny boy:** but guys  
**benny boy:** did stan eat the firecracker

**staniel:** do i have to be truthful

**gremlin:** PLEASE

**dickard:** for the love of god please tell me you ate the firecracker

**staniel:** i got like. 1 second away from doing it  
**staniel:** but THEN  
**staniel:** bev called asking where we were bc we were all supposed to meet up for 4th of july for some fun underage drinking and firework fun so instead the firecracker exploded in my hand

**freakin bats:** WAIT I REMEMBER THAT  
**freakin bats:** A POP AND THEN EDDIE FUCKING SCREAMING AND STAN JUST CASUALLY GOING "oh shit. bev? we'll be late. i'm going to the hospital."

**staniel:** I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE THO IDK HOW I WASNT CRYING

**dickard:** KFDJLSDFJ 

**gremlin:** IT WAS TRAUMATIZING

**staniel:** how do i think felt, eddie? i was the one HOLDING THE DAMN THING  
**staniel:** i'm surprise all i got were some minor stitches like my hand could've been blown completely off. holy shit

**mike n ike:** THATS THE STORY BEHIND YOU GETTING INJURED BY A FIRECRACKER?

**staniel:** did you seriously think they were separate things

**mike n ike:** uh, yeah

**staniel:** oh my god

**benny boy:** so all im getting here is that u dont need to let richie around fire when high and when stan's drunk, just dont let him accept a drunk dare from eddie

**big bill:** basically

**staniel:** yes

**freakin bats:** sounds about right

**gremlin:** yep

**dickard:** i mean.....yeah

**mike n ike:** thats right

**dickard:** but also i just wanna put fire in my mouth

**freakin bats:** u wanna put something else in ur mouth too but we'll get to that another day

**dickard:** :D

**staniel:** oh god

_[7:03 AM; NYC time]_

**big bill:** wait so like  
**big bill:** did rich actually eat the fire

**dickard:** no :(  
**dickard:** max stopped me

**gremlin:** who's max?

**dickard:** lucas' gf  
**dickard:** the girl who dragged us to the campus hospital??

**gremlin:** OH that max

**dickard:** what other fucking max is there

**gremlin:** idk like a guy friend max 

**dickard:** oh skfjd  
**dickard:** no its lucas' gf max

**gremlin:** oh ok good  
**gremlin:** i mean good that she stopped u eating the fire not good that it wasnt like a guy friend  
**gremlin:** not that it would matter anyway

**dickard:** lmao ur cute eds

**gremlin:** shut ur the fuck up

**big bill:** ....interestign

**gremlin:** what

**dickard:** what

**big bill:** nothing :)

**gremlin:** lmao ok?

**dickard:** .....alrighty then

** _THE FURIOUS FIVE_ **

_[7:07 AM; NYC time]_

**billiam:** quesiton

**mikey:** im not answering a damn thing until you start fucking spelling correctly

**bev bev:** he's BI mike let ur boyfriend be

**billiam:** thank u bev <3  
**billiam:** fuck u mike

**bev bev:** mwah xox

**mikey:** already have baby

**bev bev:** oh god please not again  
**bev bev:** ben still hasnt been added back i cant take ur sexual shit alone

**mikey:** im innocent i swear

**bev bev:** first: no tf u aint  
**bev bev:** second: that is MY LINE get ur own

**mikey:** how about no

**bev bev:** wanna FIGHT

**mikey:** no actually but i do miss ur hugs

**bev bev:** omg mike that took such a sudden turn

**mikey:** but its TRUE  
**mikey:** u give like A+ hugs  
**mikey:** not as good as stan's or bill's but still Good Hugs

**bev bev:** next time we see each other im giving u a bone crushing hug

**mikey:** YES

**billiam:** ahem

**mikey:** oh right oops

**bev bev:** lmao sorry billy

**billiam:** skfjk its ok 

**staniel:** what's the question, bill?

**billiam:** hold on

_billiam added mr handsome to the chat_

**billiam:** ok there

**mr handsome:** oh skjdfk  
**mr handsome:** high key forgot this chat existed

**bev bev:** how DARE you leave me alone with these sexual rampant dickheads

**mr handsome:** I THOUGHT U WOULD LEAVE TOO?

**staniel:** i mean  
**staniel:** u couldve done that 

**bev bev:** ok but i didnt want to

**mr handsome:** but still im sorry bev :(

**bev bev:** NOLSFJ DONT FROWN  
**bev bev:** iM NOT ACTUALLY MAD  
**bev bev:** OH GOD I DONT LIKE FROWNY BEN

**mr handsome:** :)) !!!!!!  
**mr handsome:** better?

**bev bev:** yes actually omg

**mikey:** honestly if u two got ur shit together u would be the sweetest fucking couple in the entire world  
**mikey:** aka the only het couple that has rights

**billiam:** i have to agree

**staniel:** that's the truest thing you've said all day, mike

**mikey:** its only 7am

**staniel:** i still stand by my statement

**bev bev: **ANYWAY  
**bev bev:** bill what was the question??

**billiam: **huh  
**billiam:** OH RIGHT  
**billiam:** have y'all read the spooktacular losers yet

**staniel:** no bc i haven't had coffee yet

**mikey:** no

**mr handsome:** YES

**bev bev:** no why  
**bev bev:** DID SOMETHING HAPPEN

**billiam:** ben ur the only one who has rights rn

**mr handsome: **wuw  
**mr handsome: **wait  
**mr handsome:** uwu :)

**billiam:** oh god ur cute

**bev bev:** bill ur speaking truths right now

**billiam:** oh really?

**mr handsome:** its too early to be blushing this much

**staniel:** what the ever loving fuck happened in the spooktacular chat  
**staniel:** we can compliment ben later

**billiam:** what dont u just fucking read it

**mikey:** he's lazy

**staniel:** i am NOT

**mikey:** literally 3 taps and suddenly ur on the spook loser chat  
**mikey:** may i repeat, ur LAZY

**staniel:** i will poor this tea down your pants, michael

**mikey:** .........ok so ur NOT lazy

**staniel:** :) 

**mr handsome:** eddie got jelly, stan

**bev bev:** HE GOT WHAT  
**bev bev:** im gonna go read it

**staniel:** OVER WHO OR WHAT 

**billiam:** MAX

**staniel: **who  
**staniel:** OH LUCAS' GF

**billiam:** YEAH

**bev bev:** no WAY

**mikey:** this is amazing

**bev bev:** HE THOUGHT MAX WAS A GUY OMG

**mr handsome:** do u think richie noticed eddie got jealous tho

**staniel:** how could he not

**mikey:** $10 says he's freaking out rn about it

**bev bev:** $10 says he noticed but is trying to brush it off as something that's not the obvious

**billiam:** now THAT i believe

**mr handsome:** poor boys  
**mr handsome:** at this rate they wont get together until theyre 40

**staniel:** i could say the same thing about someone else we know.

**mikey:** what stan said

**mr handsome:** we're talking about richie & eddie here, guys, shut up

**mikey:** BEN

**billiam** NEVER in my life have i seen or heard ben tell mike or stan to shut up  
**billiam:** this is going down in the history books fellas

**staniel:** oh my god

**mr handsome:** (:

**bev bev:** so like  
**bev bev:** are gonna do anything about this  
**bev bev:** or just privately freak out

**mikey:** i mean  
**mikey:** eddie has gotten jealous before  
**mikey:** its nothing new

**staniel:** bev are either u or ben spending time with him today?

**mr handsome:** we have lunch plans! :)  
**mr handsome:** im v excited i've missed our spitfire gremlin

**staniel:** can you gauge how jealous he actually is

**mr handsome:** how do i do that

**staniel:** if its nothing serious he'll like mention it once  
**staniel:** if he's hella jelly he'll become dramatic

**mikey:** eddie's always dramatic

**billiam:** what mike said

**bev bev:** mike's got a point

**staniel:** i mean like mad dramatic  
**staniel:** not whatever the fuck type of dramatic he usually is

**mr handsome:** yeah ok i'll do that!

**bev bev:** oooo ask him about max  
**bev bev:** act like u think max is a guy bc u've got dumb bitch disease

**mr handsome:** first u agree with bill that im cute and now ive got dumb bitch disease  
**mr handsome:** im getting whiplash

**bev bev:** i mean ur still fucking adorable dw   
**bev bev:** B U T  
**bev bev:** u just gotta act dumb

**mr handsome:** so like bill

**billiam:** HEY

**bev bev:** KJDSLFKJ YEAH

**mr handsome:** SORRY BILLY

**billiam:** i mean its ok ig

**staniel:** nice ben A+ burn

**mr handsome:** thank u stan

**billiam:** STAN 

**staniel:** whoops :)

Ben ran into McDonald’s as fast as he could, huffing as he pushed the hood of his raincoat off. Water dripped off of him and onto the floor, and he stepped around the ‘Caution: Wet’ sign on the ground as he went to get in line to order. Surprisingly enough, many people weren’t inside the fast food restaurant; there was a line, sure, but it wasn’t too busy at all, which shocked Ben since it was also lunch time. He thought nothing of it and just stood in line. A few minutes later, he was ordering and then not too long after that, he was getting his food and drink after he paid. He turned and looked around until he spotted a familiar head of brown hair, quickly heading over.

After short greetings and a tight hug, the two got to eating and talking. The conversations between them flowed easily. It was as if they hadn't even been apart for a month or so, unable to meet up because of conflicting schedules. They laughed, talked, and ate, enjoying one another's company, and discussing how great it was to finally be away from Derry despite being separated from their friends. All the while, Ben did his best to find a moment to bring up Richie to try and figure out how jealous Eddie was, if at all. He thought with mentioning how they were all separated it would come easy after that, but it didn't. Eddie was quick to shift the conversation to recent shows and movies he's gotten into, asking Ben about which ones he likes.

There wasn't a good lull in the conversation to just abruptly bring what he wanted to up. And there was no mention of Richie attempting to eat fire at all. Come to think of it, Ben realized, Eddie's barely mentioned their Trashmouth at all. He frowned to himself at that, but didn't mention it. Instead, their conversation about _The Good Place_ continued. It wasn't until they were both basically done with their food when Ben finally got the chance to bring up Max.

He shifted in his seat to get comfortable as the silence continued between them. Then, "It's a good thing Max was with Richie last night to keep him from legitimately eating fire."

Eddie nodded but shrugged, poking a bad fry around with another fry. "Guess so, yeah. But Lucas was there too, we can't forget him." He then dropped the fry and leaned back in his seat, and crossed his arms.

"Right yeah," Ben nodded as well. "Of course. Lucas seems cool, don't you think? Based off of our short conversations with him."

"Sure."

"So does Max! Richie said she's like a mix of Stan and Bev, remember?" He chuckled at that. "That probably makes for an interesting person. It'd be cool to meet her. Both of them, actually."

Another shrug. "Yeah, I mean, I guess."

Ben went to continue on to talk about Max and Lucas, but stopped himself at seeing Eddie's expression. At first it looked like his signature scowl. The one where everyone around just knows not to say anything else in case he just blew up. The more Ben looked though, the more he could see that it wasn't that. He was ready to mark it up as Eddie pouting until he noticed the glassy eyes, and it clicked in Ben's brain that it wasn't a pout. It was a look of trying not to cry in front of someone. He frowned. "Eddie," he said quietly.

Eddie tightened his arms over his chest and fervently shook his head. "I'm _fine_, Ben," he forced out. His voiced cracked on the other's name, making him visibly wince.

Ben just frowned some more. "You wanna talk about it?"

He shook his head again. Unfortunately, his wobbly bottom lip and the tears that finally decided to spill over betrayed him. Eddie quickly pulled the sleeves of his shirt over his hands and started wiping at his fine, huffing. "This is so _stupid_," he started. "I don't- I was fucking fine when I woke up this morning, really. But then- then Richie mentioned Max and, I dunno, it put it me in a bad mood." There was a pause, and part of Ben wanted to say something but didn't, knowing from experience not to interrupt Eddie mid-rant. "It's just fucking stupid. _I_ feel fucking stupid! It's- I dunno, Ben. I just... I miss Rich, okay? Like, I should be the one trying to keep him from doing stupid shit while high, not Max or Lucas. And I hate feeling like this because I know part of this is me being jealous, but I don't want to be jealous of them. They're nice! They're cool like you said, and it's just _stupid_. I don't want to be jealous. Jesus fucking Christ, I'm acting as if he's my fucking stupid boyfriend. He's not. That's _fine_. He's just my stupid fucking _best friend_. That's all he is!"

Ben licked his lips and leaned his arms comfortably on the surface of the table. "Eddie," he said to get the other's attention, to get Eddie to look at him. Once he was, Ben went on. "Do you want Richie to be your boyfriend?"

Eddie shrugged, sniffled, and wrapped his arms around himself again, thinking for a moment. He sighed and his shoulders slumped. "You can't tell the others," he mumbled.

Ben nodded. "I promise."

"I know I..." Eddie sighed again. "I like him, okay? I know that much. But I don’t know where the line is between a silly crush and serious romantic feelings, because my mom really fucked me up in that department. The only thing I know about love, is from what I’ve learned from the Losers. And it’s great! I know I love you guys – you’re my family – but I just... What the ever loving fuck is romantic love? What the hell does that feel like?!”

When Eddie didn't continue, Ben blinked and stumbled out a response. "W- Do you think _I_ have the answer to that?"

Eddie rolled his eyes. "You're in love with Bev, anyone can see that."

His cheeks flushed. "Oh."

"It's not a bad thing," Eddie rushed to say. "It's a fucking great thing. I just want to know what it's like."

Ben gave him a small smile. "You'll know eventually, Ed. I think love is different for everyone. For one person, it may feel like they're drowning. For another, it may feel like their floating on cloud nine. For me, it's a bunch of things, I think, but I honestly don't know. I haven't thought about it too much, because as much I know I love Bev, it's still kinda scary. Because, dude, we're _eighteen_. We're still technically kids in society's eyes despite being of age! And as much as loving someone is fucking fantastic, it's nerve wracking. It can be overwhelming. And with you and your feelings for Richie, it's fine if you don't know how you feel just yet. You'll figure it out eventually." Ben paused and his lips pulled into a teasing smile. "And stop being jealous if his friends, Eddie, he's still the Losers' Trashmouth. Nothing's gonna change that."

"But he's _my_ Rich."

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, and you're his Eds." The death glare he received made Ben wish he could take back the words, but then he saw the tiny smile Eddie was trying to hide. "It's gonna be okay, Eddie. Just... Be grateful for Max and Lucas, because if Richie didn't have them, you'd be on a flight to Cali about now because he's a dumbass who actually ate fire because no one was there to stop him."

Another eye roll from Eddie, though it was half-hearted and had no real heat behind it. "I know," he whispered. He then rubbed at his eyes, sniffling again.

"You doing better now?"

Eddie nodded. "Yeah." He smiled, looking much happier. "Thanks, Ben. Sorry for letting it all out on you, I wasn't planning on that."

"Oh, it's fine. I was trying to get it out of you anyway per Stan's and Bev's request."

Eddie's jaw dropped. "_What_?!"

Ben shrunk back the slightest bit. His hands were up in surrender. "They just wanted me to find out how jealous you were about Max! I won't tell them a thing about your feelings to Richie, I _swear_, but I do have to tell that you being jealous of Max has been confirmed."

A groan left the smaller boy's lips as he slumped down almost completely. He covered his face with his rain jacket that had been previously beside him, his blushing face away from Ben's sight. "God, just kill me now."

At Ben's laugh, Eddie flipped him off.


	11. derry has no rights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is v georgie centric today but near the end it's halloween centric bc its halloween, duh, but also bc the next chapter is going to be with eddie, bev & ben a little before & at the halloween party. so very little texting will be happening next chapter, just a warning!

** _BILL & RICHIE_ **

_[2:12 AM; Cali time]_

**eddie's lover:** bill  
**eddie's lover:** billiam  
**eddie's lover:** BILL DENBROUGH  
**eddie's lover:** wait its 5am over there nvm  
**eddie's lover:** but for when u wake up: georgie's texting me and idk why

** _GEORIGE & RICHIE_ **

_[2:12 AM; Cali time]_

**the better denbro:** Hi Richie!! :)

**richie!!:** hey kiddo!  
**richie!!:** not that i dont love u (i do, a lot actually bc ur the BEST) but why are u texting me? its like 5am in Maine  
**richie!!:** dont ur parents take ur phone at night or did i imagine that

**the better denbro:** It is! And they do but I snuck around until I found it :)

**richie!!:** oh ok  
**richie!!:** why?

**the better denbro:** I can't sleep :( I had a really bad dream 

**richie!!:** that sucks kiddo i'm sorry  
**richie!!:** that has to be h-e-double hockey sticks

**the better denbro: **Yeah  
**the better denbro:** and I know cuss words Richie

**richie!!:** but ur like 9

**the better denbro:** I'm 12

**richie!!:** same difference  
**richie!!:** but im sorry u had a nightmare buddy  
**richie!!:** why didnt u text bill? hes ur brother

**the better denbro:** He sleeps like a log. You can only wake up him by throwing cold water on him

**richie!!:** sdkfjk thats so true  
**richie!!:** what was the nightmare about? u dont have to tell me im just curious

**the better denbro:** Remember when I went missing when I was like, 7?

**richie!!:** dude how can i forget, we were all worried as hell

**the better denbro:** It was about that

**richie!!:** oh.

**the better denbro:** Except my arm got eaten by Robert Gray in that stupid colwn costume of his but like, his jaw was like a snake & it was really creepy & he dragged me back into the sewers. Then you guys tried to save me but then you guys died & then I died  
**the better denbro:** There was a lot of clown stuff around today (yesterday?) bc Halloween is coming up soon and idk its messing with me I guess :(

**richie!!:** oh dang that's terrible, georgie  
**richie!!:** that dick is locked up now tho ok? and no clown is going to get you again, i swear. it was just a bad dream and if anyone dressed as a clown walks up to you, you don't have to talk to them. walk away if you want and stick with your mom and dad and friends

**the better denbro:** I know, I will

**richie!!:** do u have the netflix app on ur phone?

**the better denbro:** Yeah but I'm not logged into an account or anything bc Bill is a Netflix hog and doesn't let me use his.

**richie!!:** skjfl oh damn ok  
**richie!!:** u can use mine. make ur own profile & whatever the hell u do & watch a Coco or something else thats happy 

**the better denbro:** Really?

**richie!!:** yeah!

**the better denbro:** Thanks Richie you're the best! :)

**richie!!:** lol ur welcome kiddo

** _BILL & RICHIE_ **

_[7:34 AM; Cali time]_

**the lesser denbro:** georige texted u?  
**the lesser denbro:** why?

**eddie's lover:** he had a nightmare about robert gray  
**eddie's lover:** got his arm bitten off, we died trying to save him and then he died. those are the only details he went into  
**eddie's lover:** OH and the dude's jaw was like a snake's, apparently

**the lesser denbro:** oh fuck. thats fucking terrifying  
**the lesser denbro:** why didn't he etext me?

**eddie's lover:** he knows u sleep like a log and hard to wake up lmao

**the lesser denbro:** ok valid reason

**eddie's lover:** we didnt really talk for long tho so idk how he's doing

**the lesser denbro:** did u do anything to help?

**eddie's lover:** yeah i gave him my netflix stuff and told him to watch a happy movie like Coco so his mind would get off of the nightmare

**the lesser denbro:** COCO PUT ME IN TEARS HOW IS IT HAPPY??

**eddie's lover:** he finds his deadgreat-grandfather?? his grandma remembers the song??? his family lets him play music?????

**the lesser denbro:** still it made me cry

**eddie's lover:** cry baby

**the lesser denbro:** maybe so  
**the lesser denbro:** i'll talk to him later today to see if he's doing ok

**eddie's lover:** idk if he is honestly

**the lesser denbro:** why??

**eddie's lover:** he told me there's been a lot of clown stuff around derry recently bc of halloween

**the lesser denbro:** fuck, really?

**eddie's lover:** yeah :(

**the lesser denbro:** u would think after having a cannibal clown, derry would ban all clown related things but NO they just gotta do the fucking opposite and traumatize my little brother even more.

**eddie's lover:** when has derry done anything right tho  
**eddie's lover:** they barely did anything That summer  
**eddie's lover:** hence why we fought the fucking dude in the first place

**the lesser denbro:** im SO MAD

**eddie's lover:** ME TOO

**the lesser denbro:** im calling my parents right fucking now

**eddie's lover:** tell sharon and zach that their favorite adioptive son says hi!! :)

**the lesser denbro:** ur not even adopted richie

**eddie's lover:** ok yeah but i still love ur parents

**the lesser denbro:** kjdak go annoy eddie

**eddie's lover:** MY PLEASURE

** _ SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS _ **

_[11:58 PM; Cali time]_

_freakin bats changed mike n ike's name to michael meyers_

_freakin bats changed benny boy's name to dancing pumpkin_

_freakin bats changed dickard's name to spook scary skeleton_

_freakin bats changed big bill's name to kill bill_

_freakin bats changed staniel's name to kookie kookie_

_[7:43 AM; Cali time]_

**michael meyers:** walking into the apartment to hear bill yelling angrily on the phone was not what i was expecting to come home from class to but here we are

**freakin bats:** what happened do u know?

**spooky scary skeleton:** derry.

**dancing pumkin:** why am i gasping this shouldn't be surprising

**gremlin:** what did the godforsaken town do this time.

**spook scary skeleton:** ok so georgie texted me last night

**gremlin:** i am immediately offended

**spooky scary skeleton:** shut ur fuck eds  
**spooky scary skeleton: **anyway  
**spooky scary skeleton:** long story short, he had a nightmare about robert gray but only bc derry has like....a lot of clown stuff around town. i told bill & now he is PISSED and for good reason too and so am i. he called his parents a few minutes ago to rant

**kookie kookie:** if derry were a person i'd kill it

**dancing pumpkin:** i think we can all agree on that

**michael meyers:** billy is fucking furious, his stutter got really bad again & i had to take the phone away so he can calm down

**freakin bats:** FUCK derry bro

**gremlin:** derry has no rights whatsover

**spooky scary skeleton:** they've never had rights and they never will

**dancing pumpkin:** are u talking to bill's parents, mike?

**michael meyers:** yeah, mrs denbrough is v upset & mr denbrough is pissed

**spooky scary skeleton:** do u know how georgie is?

**michael meyers:** not yet

**freakin bats:** how was he when he talked to you?

**spooky scary skeleton:** its hard to tell over text but its was a freaky nightmare so i'm guessing Not Good

**gremlin:** you made sure he was ok before you stopped talking to him right??

**spooky scary skeleton:** of fucking course, who do you think i am?

**gremlin:** just making sure, rich

**spooky scary skeleton:** i gave him my netflix stuff & told him to watch coco   
**spooky scary skeleton:** i stayed awake 3 more hours just in case he texted me again but he didnt

**dancing pumpkin:** ok why coco it's a tear jerker

**spooky scary skeleton:** between u and bill i'm feeling very attacked for my movie choice for georgie

**gremlin:** you stayed up 3 hours??? when did u fucking go to sleep

**spooky scary skeleton:** i'm running on 2 hours of sleep

**gremlin:** RICHARD

**dancing pumpkin:** holy hell get some sleep richie

**spooky scary skeleton:** cant, have a midterm in 4 minutes

**gremlin:** YOU STAYED UP LATE THE NIGHT BEFORE A MIDTERM????

**spooky scary skeleton:** IT WAS FOR GEORGIE

**dancing pumpkin:** omg richie

**spooky scary skeleton:** georgie denbrough comes before school.

**gremlin:** as much as i want to yell at you for not getting enough sleep, i fucking agree so hard

**freakin bats:** that 10 year old is the purest and bestest thing ever

**spooky scary skeleton:** he's 12

**freakin bats:** ......no the fuck he isnt

**gremlin:** he cant be 12 holy shit

**dancing pumpkin:** i met him when we were 12, he can't be that old what the fuck

**gremlin:** GEORGIE ISN'T 12???

**freakin bats:** WHY DO I SUDDENLY FEEL OLD

**spooky scary skeleton:** i mean, he's 6 years younger than bill meaning he's ~6 years younger than us  
**spooky scary skeleton:** he was 6 when got kidnapped  
**spooky scary skeleton:** its been 6 years since then  
**spooky scary skeleton:** i mean i know im the best at math here but cmon guys this is basic shit  
**spooky scary skeleton:** ALSO DONT ATTACK ME IM TEASING 

**freakin bats:** HOW AREN'T YOU HAVING A CRISIS

**spooky scary skeleton:** i did like at 3 in the morning

**gremlin:** OK WELL SOME OF US ARENT FUCKING GIFTED MATH STUDENTS, RICHARD

**dancing pumpkin:** richie go take ur stupid midterm  
**dancing pumpkin:** speaking of, i also have a stupid midterm

**freakin bats:** GOOD LUCK, MY BOYS <3 <3

**gremlin:** good luck rich <3  
**gremlin:** and ben :)

**dancing pumkin:** thanks! :))

**spooky scar skeleton:** is tath a fikcing haert by m y nmae

**freakin bats:** oh god eddie u broke him

**gremlin: **o  
**gremlin: **no.  
**gremlin:** go fucking take ur midterm, jerk.

**freakin bats:** eddie,, sweetie

**gremlin:** HSUT UP

_[8:12 AM; Cali time]_

**kookie kookie:** ok so bill, mike & i all talked with bill's parents for a little bit about the derry clown thing and georige's ok but shaken about it. bill & his parents are mad and mr. denbrough said he's going to talk the mayor or governor or whoever to see if something can happen about the clown decorations and costumes thing, because it's been like this since That happened but georgie is only now telling us that he's bothered by it

**freakin bats:** no poor baby :(  
**freakin bats:** i seriously fucking hate derry. i hate that piece of shit human

**kill bill:** can i murder robert gray?

**gremlin:** we tried, didn't work :/

**kill bill:** well lets try again

**michael meyers:** but then WE will be behind bars and no one needs that

**kill bill:** who said anything about we?

**kookie kookie:** mike did and he's right

**dancing pumpkin:** idk im not against murdering the asshole,,,,

**freakin bats:** ben take ur fucking midterm

**dancing pumkin:** i already did. it was multiple choice and v easy

**freakin bats:** oh yay!! thats good

**dancing pumpkin:** c:

**kill bill:** but this my BABY BROTHER  
**kill bill:** he could have DIED and now he's fucking traumatized

**michael meyers:** to be fair, we're all traumatized. we all could've died - georgie just got the most of it. but seeking out that asshole won't do any good for him, bill. you just need to be there for him when you can, and that goes for all of us  
**michael meyers:** while being away, the most we're going to be able to do is variations of what richie did last night. talk and offer different ways to get georgie to stop thinking about whatever nightmare he's had

**kill bill:** but he's my baby brother :(

**kookie kookie:** look, we would all kill for georgie  
**kookie kookie:** but just because we would and could doesn't mean we should

**gremlin:** lmao ur a poet an didnt know it

**kookie kookie:** i was expecting richie to say that skfjd

**gremlin:** he's taking a midterm so,

**dancing pumpkin:** aw just cute boyfriend things :)

**gremlin:** BEN

**freakin bats:** SLFKJSLDKFJ BEN OH MY GOD

**kill bill:** OH MY-

**spooky scary skeleton:** who tf are boyfriends  
**spooky scary skeleton:** waitoh m gysd BENJAMIN

**michael meyers:** but is he wrong tho?

**spooky scary skeleton:** UH

**gremlin:** VERY MUCH SO

**spooky scary skeleton:** YEAH  
**spooky scary skeleton:** CAB WE GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT GEORGIE  
**spooky scary skeleton:** LIKE WHATS HE DOING FOR HALLOWEEN IF THERES A BUNCH OF FAKE CLOWNS RUNNING AROUND

**kill bill:** JFKSKA CHILL RICH  
**kill bill:** he’s spending some time with friends  
**kill bill:** at thE QUARRY

**michael meyers:** NO

**kill bill:** u were on to phone with everyone mike u should know this 

**michael meyers:** IM STILL EMO ABOUT IT OK

**kookie kookie:** to be fair that was only like 5 minutes ago

**freakin bats:** HES WHAT 

**gremlin:** that makes me so emotional??? what the actual fuck

**dancing pumpkin:** wait  
**dancing pumpkin:** halloween is TODAY

**spooky scary skeleton:** no it’s not today’s tuesday

**kookie kookie:** it’s thursday, richie

**michael meyers:** it is??

**spooky scary skeleton:** no????? its not

**kookie kookie:** yes????

**spooky scary skeleton:** YOU MEAN I JUST HAD TO TAKE A FUCKING MIDTERM ON HALLOWEEN??

**kill bill:** LMAO 

**freakin bats:** OH MY GO D IT IS HALLOWEEN  
**freakin bats:** BEN AND EDDIE WE HAVE A PARTY TO GET TEAYD FOR

**gremlin:** we have a WHAT

**dancing pumpkin:** excuse me what 

**freakin bats:** DID I NOT TELL YOU ???

**dancing pumpkin:** NO?

**gremlin:** NO

**freakin bats:** oh well this cute girl in my art class invited me to this halloween party two weeks ago & i asked if i could bring some friends & she said yes so now u HAVE to come :)

**gremlin:** i, sadly, but also not so sadly, do not have a costume

**dancing pumpkin:** same 

**freakin bats:** BJFKSKS YES YOU DO BC I SNUCK AROUND AND GOT UR COSTUMES !!!!!! I’LL SEND U MY DORM INFO SO WE CAN DO STUFF THERE BC MY ROOMIE IS GONE FOR THE DAY

**kookie kookie:** you two better not ruin bev’s excitement.

**dancing pumpkin:** ok ok i’ll be there as fast as i can, promise :)

**gremlin:** oh Fuck

**spooky scary skeleton:** awe bet ur gonna look cute as always eds

**gremlin:** im gonna kill u one day

**spook scary skeleton:** oooooo kinky ;)

**michael meyers:** When Will This Torture End

**kookie kookie:** if not by new years, never


	12. halloween party fun

** _SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_ **

_[6:01 PM; NYC time]_

**dancing pumpkin:** wait whats everyone else doing for halloween tonight?

**kookie kookie:** we're going to a party

**freakin bats:** stan?? going to a college party??? oh my god this is going in the history books

**kookie kookie:** shut UP i've been bribed by eggnog

**michael meyers:** we're letting him buy eggnog extra early this year :)

**dancing pumpkin:** u are a slut for eggnog stan

**kookie kookie:** its the one of the two christmas things my jewish self loves

**gremlin:** whats the second thing?

**kookie kookie:** the christmas claymations 

**freakin bats:** KJSFL THOSE ARE HTE BEST

**kill bill:** hey FOCUS  
**kill bill:** ITS HALLOWEEN YOU FUCKERS  
**kill bill:** WE'VE STLIL GOT 2 MONTHS

**freakin bats:** skfjl sorry billy

**kookie kookie:** sorry i can't help that i'm a slut for eggnog

**kill bill:** i forgive u

**gremlin:** well that was quick and easy

**dancing pumpkin:** *jake peralta voice* thats the title of ur sex tape

**gremlin:** BENSDJFK

**michael meyers:** GOOD ONE BEN

**freakin bats:** surprised richie didnt beat u to it, benny

**dancing pumpkin:** me too tbh

**spooky scary skeleton:** sorry i was paying for my halloween costume so i couldnt and now im SAD that i missed that opportunity but hella proud of ben

**dancing pumpkin:** :D

**spooky scary skeleton:** THATS MY SMILEY GET UR OWN

**dancing pumpkin:** :c

**freakin bats:** YOU FUCKING MADE HIM SAD

**spooky scary skeleton:** OF FUCK THAT WASNT MY INTENTION

**kookie kookie:** STOP MAKING BEN CRY

**spooky scary skeleton:** OK LAST TIME IT WAS HAPPY TEARS AND WHO FUCKING SAID HES CRYING?

**gremlin:** well he does cry easily

**dancing pumpkin:** i mean true but richie is right, i wasnt crying

**spooky scary skeleton: **ben ur the only one who has rights

**gremlin:** HEY

**spooky scary skeleton: **correction  
**spooky scary skeleton:** ben and eds are the only ones who have rights

**kookie kookie:** someone is really fucking whipped

**spooky scary skeleton:** staniel, i will chop the rest of ur dick off

**kookie kookie:** bold of you to think i wouldn't do it right back.

**spooky scary skeleton:** ...ok threat retracted

**dancing pumpkin:** omg i feel loved 

**gremlin:** :)

**spooky scary skeleton:** mwah

**kill bill:** do ben and rich suddenly have Thing going on

**dancing pumpkin:** yes we've been secretly dating months

**spooky scary skeleton:** we eloped last week

**dancing pumpkin:** we're adopting 12 kids

**spooky scary skeleton:** with niall horan

**kill bill:** ok fucking tone down the sarcasm pls

**spooky scary skeleton**: u love us billy

**kill bill: **sigh  
**kill bill:** i do

_[7:53 PM; NYC time]_

**michael meyers:** yo @ richie u never said what u are doing tonight

**spooky scary skeleton:** lucas & max are dragging me to a party   
**spooky scary skeleton:** im in the same boat ben & eds are in lmao

**dancing pumpkin:** oooooh are u dressing up

**spooky scary skeleton:** they told me about this like 2 hours ago. thats why i was at the store, i had to buy a last minute deadpool costume  
**spooky scary skeleton:** i wasnt even planning on doing anything but like bev, max is hard so say no to bc shes scary as all fuck. pretty sure its the red hair

**freakin bats:** we're direct spawns of lilith :)

**dancing pumpkin:** oh-

**spooky scary skeleton:** ....i am slightly concerned for yours & eds' safety now

**freakin bats:** they are perfectly safe in my clutches, no need for worry

**gremlin:** hold up why werent u going to do anything rich

**spooky scary skeleton:** idk bc i dont have u guys

**kookie kookie:** aw, the dick is getting soft

**gremlin:** KJDSFLJFS

**freakin bats:** OHHHFSKDSF MYFSDFUCKINGNFGOD

**dancing pumpkin:** stan fucking saw the chance and grabbed it by the throat

**spooky scary skeleton:** STAN THE MAN GETS OFF A FUCKING GOOD ONE!  
**spooky scary skeleton:** honestly im not even pissed or annoyed, im proud :,)

**kill bill:** how have u not madet htat joke sooner tho

**kookie kookie:** it had to be the right moment  
**kookie kookie:** what can i say richie, you've rubbed off on me

**michael meyers: **stan babe that could've been worded better

**kookie kooke:** wait no-

**spooky scary skeleton:** oh i'll rub off on u alright ;)

**kookie kookie:** i fucking walked right into that one. i fucking hate myself. oh my god.

**spooky scary skeleton:** U FUCKIN PLAYED URSELF 

**gremlin:** i am suddenly VERY uncomfortable

**kill bill:** ofc u are eddie

**gremlin:** i will sew ur mouth shut

**kill bill:** technically im not opening my mouth

**freakin bats:** oh he'll be opening it later, wink wink nudge nudge

**michael meyers:** now look who's making the chat sexual

**freakin bats:** DONT FUCKING BLAME ME  
**freakin bats:** RICHE STARTED IT

**spooky scary skeleton:** I DID JACK SHIT

**kookie kookie:** false.

**freakin bats:** ANYWAY my boys and i are arriving at the party so we'll talk later!!

**michael meyers:** WAIT SEND A PICTURES OF UR COSTUME

**freakin bats:** ONLY IF EVERYONE ELSE SENDS PICTURES

**michael meyers: **YEET

**kookie kookie:** did he just fucking say yeet.

**freakin bats:** yes, stan, he did. can't u READ

**kill bill:** no bev he LITERALLY SAID YEET

**kookie kookie:** HE SHOT UP OUT OF HIS CHAIR, YELLED YEET, AND WENT TO TAKE A MIRROR SELFIE

**spooky scary skeleton:** he did fucking not

**kill bill:** he DID

**freakin bats:** oh msckufgod

**dancing pumpkin:** sometimes i forget how weird mike actually is

**gremlin:** yeah ur bf is fuckin weird, guys

_michael meyers sent a picture_  
_[desc. just ur typical mirror selfie idk how to describe it but mike's in his halloween costume aka a michael jackson costume from the thriller music video]_

**gremlin:** ur bf is also fuckin cute, guys

**kookie kookie:** i gave him the idea :)

**kill bill:** thats our BOY

**freakin bats:** WHY HAVE U NEVER GONE AS MICHAEL JACKSON BEFORE THATS GENIUS

**michael meyers:** honestly idk but I Love It

_freakin bats changed michael meyers's name to michael jackson_

**michael jackson:** slkjfd thanks bev

**dancing pumpkin:** ok but what about bill and stan

**michael jackson:** i got u covered hold on

_michael jackson sent a picture_  
_[desc. bill in the kitchen with a powdered donut halfway in his mouth, mid-bite, in Flash costume. the mask is on the counter by the opened package of donuts.]_

_michael jackson sent a picture_  
_[desc. stan standing there in the middle of the living room with the signature tiny stan smile on his face. he's dressed up as peter pan.]_

**freakin bats:** pls tell me stan is wearing tights

**kookie kookie:** i am not wearing tights.

**kill bill:** HES WEARING DTIHGTS  
**kill bill:** HIS LEGS LOOK GREAT

**michael jackson:** i agree, stan's legs look fucking fantastic

**kookie kookie:** u guys make this sexual again and i'm not going to the fucking party

**kill bill:** MOVING ON

**gremlin:** YOU ALL LOOK SO GOOD

**spooky scary skeleton:** isn't peter pan supposed to be bubbly and childish  
**spooky scary skeleton:** stan is. not that  
**spooky scary skeleton:** a tiny little adult, maybe

**kookie kookie:** i will kill you.

**spooky scary skeleton:** not as peter pan you wont! :D

**freakin bats: **RICHIE  
**freakin bats:** send a picture of ur costume

**spooky scary skeleton:** i still have like three hours to get ready bev

**freakin bats:** so ur telling me u DIDNT put on the deadpool costume the moment u got back to ur dorm?

**gremlin:** shes got a point

**michael jackson:** she's right, rich

**spooky scary skeleton:** OH MY GOD FINE

_spooky scary skeleton sent a picture_  
_[desc. richie is in one of those one piece, spandex dead pool costumes. behind him stands lucas, photobombing as miles morales.]_

**spooky scary skeleton:** we're lowkey matching :')

**gremlin:** ohh lucas is cute

**spooky scary skeleton:** idk who that is.

**kill bill:** yall are both cute

**kookie kookie:** what/who is max going as?

**spooky scary skeleton:** batwoman  
**spooky scary skeleton:** lucas wanted her to go as black widow but she literally said "fuck off, im choosing my own costume" and then walked away to get the batwoman costume  
**spooky scary skeleton:** I JUST WANTED US ALL TO BE MARVEL CHARACTERS - lucas  
**spooky scary skeleton:** also @ eddie, thank you :) - lucas

**gremlin:** you're welcome :)

**spooky scary skeleton:** ._.

** _THE 3 STOOGES_ **

_[8:08 PM; NYC time]_

**bev:** lucas literally as a gf, no need to be jealous

**rich:** but i want eds to call ME cute :c

**stan:** god you are SO whipped

**rich:** SHUT UP WE KNOW

** _SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_ **

_[8:09 PM; NYC time]_

_gremlin sent a picture_  
_[desc. ben walking backwards down the sidewalk in a prince costume.]_

**michael jackson:** yo i didnt realize i needed ben as a prince just now but,,, DAMN

**spooky scary skeleton:** SAME??? DUDE YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT

**freakin bats:** eddie & i both told him that but he refuses to agree

**kookie kookie:** dude, ben. pal. you're attractive as all hell. hot as FUCK. all the ladies will be attracted to you tonight.

**kill bill:** but, like the gentlemanly prince he is, he just wants The One Lady

**gremlin:** sfdjlskdj HE'S BLUSHIGN SO HARD

**dancing pumpkin:** im going to be the first person to die of blushing thanks to you guys

**spooky scary skeleton:** ur welcome :D  
**spooky scary skeleton:** now what about bev and eds, i Need to see their costumes

_dancing pumpkin sent a picture_  
_[desc. bev and eddie side by side just outside of the party with eddie's arm around bev's shoulders. bev is in a sarah sanderson (blonde witch from hocus pocus) costume with a blonde wig and eddie is dressed as a vampire, grinning and showing off the fake fangs.]_

**dancing pumpkin:** so a witch and a vampire walked into a party...

**freakin bats:** WE LOOK CUTE

**gremlin:** lowkey i look with fangs

**spooky scary skeleton:** fuck yes you do

**kookie kookie:** richie's like: new kink = unlocked

**michael jackson:** LKJFSL

**dancing pumpkin:** I-

**freakin bats:** i mean,,, fangs are hot. i dont blame him

**gremlin:** dude, i'm gay

**freakin bats:** i know i'm JUST SAYING  
**freakin bats:** fangs are hot

**spooky scary skeleton:** hhng

**kookie kookie:** HOLD UP AM I RIGHT

**kill bill:** lets be real he just has an eddie kink

_spooky scary skeleton removed kill bill and kookie kookie from the chat_

**spooky scary skeleton:** GOODBYE 

** _BILL & EDDIE_ **

_[8:16 PM; NYC time]_

**edward:** BILL DENBROUGH WHAT THE FUCK

**billiam:** its true and u need to realize that. on god. he has the ultimate hots for u.

**edward:** HE DEOSNT HAVE A ME KINK???

**billiam:** sure jan!

**edward:** BILL????

** _ PINING FRIENDS! _ **

_[8:16 PM; NYC time]_

**haystack:** u... u ok over there

**trashmouth:** NO IM FSUCKING NOT  
**trashmouth**: HOW ARE YOU

**haystack:** i mean bev looks gorgeous as fuck as a witch so im both living and dying, the usual

**trashmouth:** so ur freaking out on the inside?

**haystack:** VEYR MUCHS SO

**trashmouth:** SFLKJSK GOOD LUCK, MY DUDE

**haystack:** DITTO, BRO

** _SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_ **

_[8:41 PM; NYC time]_

_michael jackson added kill bill and kookie kookie to the chat_

**kill bill:** FINALLy

**kookie kookie:** what fucking took so long

**michael jackson:** i was driving?? one of u could have EASILY taken my phone

**kookie kookie:** well. when you put it like THAT.

_[9:21 PM; NYC time]_

**gremlin:** HEEEYYY YYAAAAA

**dancing pumpkin:** HEEEYYYYY YEAAH

**freakin bats:** DONT WANT MEET UR DADDY

**spooky scary skeleton:** w.,  
**spooky scary skeleton:** what

_freakin bats sent a video_  
_[desc. a shaky minute long video of bev, ben and eddie at the party as they dance and shout along to Hey Ya! by outkast.]_

**spooky scary skeleton:** I LOVE YOU GUSY

_[10:19 PM; NYC time]_

**spooky scary skeleton: **do,  
** spooky scary skeleton:** do u guys wanna - lucas  
**spooky scary skeleton:** do ugusy wann to see rich do a bj shot - lcuas

**gremlin:** ahwat

**kookie kookie:** A BLOW JOB SHOT?

**gremlin:** WAHATH

**kookie kookie:** I WANT TO SEE HI MFAIL

**spooky scary skeleton:** HES DONE 8 AND HE HASNT FAILED YET - LCUAS

**gremlin:** HES DONTE WAHT

_spooky scary skeleton sent a video_  
_[desc. just...richie doing a blowjob shot. in a dead pool costume.]_

**kookie kookie:** ok i change my mind about wanting him to fail, tell him i'm cheering him on

**kill bill:** hey thats hot

**dancing pumpkin:** bill you have two boysfrineds

**kill bill:** IM JUST SAYING WHAT EDDIE IS THINKING

**dancing pumpkin:** ok mood tho

_[12:39 PM; NYC time]_

**kookie kookie:** guys thriller came on and mike BOLTED to where everyone is dancing and is doing the dance PERFECTLY

**freakin bats:** pics or it dindt hapepn

_kookie kookie sent a video_  
_ [desc. a slightly blurry vid of mike in the middle of other drunken college students doing the dance to thriller perfectly. a few people to the side are watching him and bill, from beside stan, is cheering him on.]_

**dancing pumpkin:** BILL'S "THATS MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND" IS HILARIOUS

** _MIKE & BEVERLY_ **

_[1:57 AM; NYC time]_

**marshal:** ok. question. mike.

**michelangelo:** ye

**marshal:** how drunk r u

**michelangelo:** not at all bc i agreed to be the dd so stan could relax for once

**marshal: **GREAT  
** marshal:** bc i'm positively SMASHED and need ot VENT

**michelangelo:** oh?

**marshal:** so. like. hello.

**michelangelo:** ssfkj hello bev

**marshal:** BEN

**michelangelo:** ben?

**marshal:** I FUCKING  
**marshal:** idk

**michelangelo:** yeah?

**marshal:** ok i dont need t VENT perse but  
**marshal:** rant?? maybe is a better.....whats the word for word  
**marshal:** OH WORD

**michelangelo:** u are. a dumb drunk

**marshal:** we been new  
**marshal:** anyway onto *bad french accent* le point

**michelangelo:** sjfskj

**marshal:** so like.   
**marshal:** THEY ALWAYS SAY IM OBLIVIOUS BUT  
**marshal:** heres the fkciker, mikey

**michelangelo:** the what

**marshal:** THE K i c k e r  
**marshal:** IM NOT FUCKING ONVLISUVOUS

**michelangelo:** oblivious?

**marshal:** ye that

**michelangelo:** ok, how so?  
**michelangelo:** are you sure you want to tell me this while youre drunk?

**marshal:** absolutely

**michelangelo:** alright, go on then

**marshal: **anyway  
** marshal:** *youtuber voice* STORYTIME  
**marshal:** so like, this party si fucking GRAET ok? like amaxing. fucking danatsti. the booz? top notch. the girl who invited us??? cute as al fuck!! her name is kay and shest stunnniing! so much so i decided to make out with her! shes just fucking. beatiutufl. beautiful!!! the bi is strong in this one, mikey. anyway so. we get to kissing and its. its GREAT and amaxing and shes a good kisser and this girl is stunning, mikey. but at the same time its not?? fun?? kay's a good af kisser but she Noticed that i wasnt Into Kissing Her so we stopped. we TALKED. AND GOT DRUNK! (more drunk)  
**marshal:** and mikey i Have So Much Feels For Benjamin Hanscom. ALWAYS HAVE!!! i just havent,,, said. antyhing bc im fucking terrified of romantic love from a guy thanks to alvin FUCKING marsh!!!!! and it sucks??? bc i Know ben feels the same way??? but i  
**marshal:** im scared and now im crying in this person's upstairs bathroom bc of it nad idk how to tell ben any of this bc i want to but feelings are hard 

**michelangelo: **look, as much as i want to help you right now, i can't. not while you're drunk, at least. you need to sober up and get some rest at home. tomorrow we can finish this conversation but only until then, alright?  
**michelangelo:** but bev, ben's a good guy. he's basically the completely opposite of your asshole of a father.

**marshal:** i know he is, but its. its sitll sjflskjflKJSF;lkJ;lje  
**marshal:** sorry for. just. everithyng rn.

**michelangelo:** hey no, its okay. we'll talk more tomorrow ok?

**marshal:** ok

**michelangelo:** i'm going to text eddie & ben, and you three are going to head back to ur dorms and rest. alright?

**marshal:** im too lazy to find the thumbs up emoji so, 

**michelangelo: **omg  
** michelangelo**: have u stopped crying?

**marshal:** mostly

**michelangelo:** alright good  
**michelangelo:** bev?

**marshal:** yeah?

**michelangelo:** i love you. we all love you

**marshal:** nvm im cryigng agian

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "there will be less texts next chapter" so that was a fuckin lie
> 
> i just got lazy and didnt want to write everything out so, this happened. its a giant mess but hope u enjoyed anyway! if u want me to, i'll write out scenes of the parties the losers went to if you're curious about what all happened (might end up doing this eventually anyway)


	13. day after

** _SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS_ **

_[11:48 AM; NYC time]_

_gremlin sent a picture_  
_[desc. bev, ben & an unknown girl all looking half dead as they sit at a kitchen table in unknown girl’s apartment. half of eddie’s face is the picture, grimacing, the fake fangs are still on his teeth]_

**gremlin:** henlo,

**kill bill: **did  
**kill bill:** did u sleep in ur fangs  
**kill bill:** also u guys look dead  
**kill bill:** also x2 who’s the girl

**gremlin:** yes, i did

**dancing pumpkin:** he refused to take them out bc “i look fuckin HOT AS HELL benjamin”  
**dancing pumpkin:** and the girl is kay, the one who invited bev & us. we all left around the same time last night & we decided to just crash at her apartment 

**gremlin:** s t o p exposing me

**dancing pumpkin:** fine but only for now

**kookie kookie:** is bev ok? she looks so out of it

**dancing pumpkin:** idk she drank the most out of us surprisingly

**kill bill:** ur telling me BEN didnt go absolutely APE SHIT??

**dancing pumpkin:** I DID THATS WHY I SAID SURPRISINGLY

**gremlin:** im not gonna lie im pretty concerned for her

**dancing pumpkin:** me too we found her crying in a bathroom

**spooky scary skeleton:** you found her doing WHAT

**kill bill:** Protective Bro Rich has arrived

**spooky scary skeleton:** HWY WAS SHE CRYIGN

**kookie kookie:** what the fuck?

**gremlin:** she never said and she still wont :(

_mike made a group chat_  
_mike added three others to the chat_  
_mike changed the chat's name to **WE GOTTA DISCUSS SHIT**_

_[11:52 AM; NYC time]_

**beverly:** w h y  
**beverly:** im too hungover for this

**richard:** YOU WERE CRYING??  
**richard:** wait why is mike here does he know what teh fick

**michael:** yes i know, she told me drunkenly last night. i'm bringing you and stan into this bc i know how often u guys talk outside of the Losers and figured u might need to Know  
**michael:** don't freak out tho  
**michael:** its nothing too bad, just stuff bev needs to talk about

**beverly:** mike ur too kind and sweet and knowledgable about this shit what the actual fuck

**stanley:** oh god not another chat  
**stanley:** but bev what made you cry in a bathroom? i'm really fucking concerned here

**beverly:** do i have to say it

**michael: **yea

**beverly:** UGHSDJGH

**michael:** talking out things is good!!

**beverly:** ik but STILL  
**beverly:** ok look its just that  
**beverly:** u guys say im oblivious to how i feel and how ben feels but SURPRISE!! im not  
**beverly:** the thing is, is i just act like i am?? bc its kinda easier??? bc im scared of having a real relationship

**richard:** wait are u saying ur in love with ben

**beverly:** heck yeah i am

**stanley:** richie is that seriously what you're getting from this?

**richard: **YES  
**richard:** THIS MAKES HELPING BEN OUT THING MUCH EASIER

**stanley:** the what

**michael: **HUH

**beverly:** excuse me??

**richard:** ok long story short: ben has been pining over u for years, kinda like me with eds, hence the 'pining friends' thing we have and we agreed to help one another but so far neither of us have gotten far  
**richard:** UNTIL NOW  
**richard:** U GOTTA MAKE A MOVE BEV

**beverly:** did u not read the part about the scared of a real relationship or

**richard:** face ur fears, babey!!

**michael:** rich is....actually right 

**richard:** ofc i am B)

**stanley:** oh god not the sunglasses emoji

**richard:** yes the fucking sunglasses emoji

**beverly:** h o w is richie right about this?

**michael:** i mean, the only thing that's going to make u get over it is facing it. not to jump right in head first, obviously  
**michael:** like, for instance, if ur scared of water/can't swim ur not gonna jump into the deep end. u start at the shallow end and gradually go deeper as u practice and gradually learn that hey, the water isnt That Bad, its actually really nice. then eventually u can swim on ur own & u can dive & maybe even go to the ocean at some point! facing a relationship with ben is doing the same thing. just, step in. test the waters. go deeper when u know u can and don't rush anything. take ur time. learn more about each other. open up and communicate

**richard:** ..i meant dive in head first but obviously mike is right 

**beverly:** but like,  
**beverly:** how would i do that

**stanley:** admit your feelings and explain how you feel about the relationship situation. ben will agree to go slow  
**stanley:** this is BEN we're talking about here, remember?

**richard:** like hes gonna be happy u feel the same but tbh bev he's happy whenever ur happy  
**richard:** is sickeningly cute  
**richard:** he just wants u to be happy & living ur best life

**michael:** theyre both right, bev

**beverly:** its still nerve wracking

**stanley:** when is love not nerve wracking  
**stanley:** im still scared mike & bill will just leave me sometimes and they know that so they know to reassure me that they won't

**michael:** love isn't easy like most people think. it takes work from everyone in the relationship and i know ben will work with u give u decide to give him a chance

**richard:** i'd chime in and say something but i know shit about love

**beverly:** u know one thing about love

**richard:** i do??

**beverly:** how it feels

**richard:** that-  
**richard:** ok yeah thats true skfjlk

**michael:** HWAT

**richard:** r u rlly THAT surprise michael

**michael:** ok NO but STILL

**richard:** yes im in love with eddie fucking kaspbrak get over urself mike

**michael:** ITS JUST NICE HEARING U ADMIT IT

**stanley:** anyway,,,, bev?

**beverly:** HOLD ON STAN  
**beverly:** LFJEIFLDSJF'LKJF;S  
**beverly:** RICHIE EDDIE ALMOST FUCKING SAW THAT

**richard:** tHATS IT IM NEVER TYPIMGOR UDTTERING THOSE WORDS EVER AGAING

**stanley:** WOULD THAT HAVE BEEN SO BAD THOUGH?

**richard:** YES

**michael:** tbh no

**beverly:** STOP LYING BITCH

**richard:** im-  
**richard:** how much did he see?

**beverly:** he saw 'eddie fucking kaspbrak' and wondered why u werent using 'eds' for once

**richard: **oh  
**richard:** thats good omg  
**richard: **anyway  
**richard:** what r u gonna do about this ben situation bev?

**beverly:** im gonna think about it  
**beverly:** i know im gonna do something obviously but idk when or how or what exactly   
**beverly:** so,,

**michael:** i think thats a good idea tbh

**beverly:** and you guys will just have to wait and see how everything works out bc im not giving you updates

**michael:** but :(

**beverly:** No Updates

**michael:** ok :(

**stanley:** you fucking made him sad

**beverly:** ur the bf, suck the sad outta him

**richard:** IDJFOSIJDFL

**michael:** OH

**stanley:** well then.

** _ SPOOKTACULAR LOSERS _ **

_[3:41 PM; NYC time]_

_kill bill changed their name to big bill_

_big bill changed spooky scary skeleton's name to trashcan_

_big bill changed gremlin's name to eduardo_

_big bill changed kookie kookie's name to cocker staniel  
_

_big bill changed michael jackson's name to mike n ike_

_big bill changed freakin bats's name to molly ringwald_

_big bill changed dancing pumpkin's name to big ben_

_big bill changed their name to billy boy_

**billy boy:** someone change the chat name i aint doing it

**big ben:** wh  
**big ben:** why am i big ben

**billy boy:** bc u got MUSCLES  
**billy boy:** also bc of the clock in england

**big ben: **SDJFLK  
**big ben:** alright cool 

_trashcan changed the chat's name to **THANKFUL FOR U LOSERS**_

**trashcan:** :) love u shits

**cocker staniel:** the dick is getting soft again

**billy boy:** STAN

**trashcan:** WHAT IS WITH U AND THE SOFT DICK JOKE THESE PAST 24 HOURS

**cocker staniel:** YOU MAKE DICK JOKES ALL THE TIME, LET US HAVE SOME FUN FOR ONCE RICHARD

**eduardo:** i mean u have been soft lately

**big ben:** well u would know wouldnt u

**eduardo:** BENJAMIN HANCSOM

**molly ringwald:** YELL AT MY BOY AGAIN AND ITS GAME OVER FOR U

**eduardo:** OH MYG OD OK IM SRORY

**trashcan:** benny boy what the FUCK

**big ben:** i've done nothing wrong ever in my life

**molly ringwald:** we know this and we love you

**big ben:** c:

**billy boy:** oh god thats cute

**trashcan:** honestly,  
**trashcan:** HAS ben ever done anything wrong

**mike n ike:** wait thats a good question

**big ben:** underage drinking, weed, skipping class, uh??  
**big ben:** i snorted lemon juice once but idk if thats 'bad' per se but it was def dumb as fuck  
**big ben:** uhhhhh i accidentally knocked a bird's nest from a tree when climbing said tree  
**big ben:** there were no eggs or anything but i made a bird homeless :(

**cocker staniel:** YOU DID WHAT TO THE BIRD

**mike n ike:** oh my god no u didnt poor birdie :(

**big ben:** I KNOW  
**big ben:** i fucking cried, shit u not

**cocker staniel:** THE BIRD IS HOMELESS???

**eduardo:** oh my

**big ben:** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT STAN I SWEAR

**cocker staniel:** HOW THE FUCK

**big ben:** I DIDNT SEE IT

**cocker staniel:** HOW DO YOU NOT SEE A BIRD'S NEST?

**big ben:** I WAS ELEVEN????

**cocker staniel:** YOU STILL HAVE EYES WHEN YOU'RE ELEVEN

**big ben:** IT WAS YOUNG AND I WAS STUPID

**cocker staniel:** oh my god that poor bird. 

**big ben:** it makes u feel any better i tried to save the nest but couldn't :c

**cocker staniel:** i mean. it does a little  
**cocker staniel:** sorry about yelling at you

**big ben:** skdfj its fine

**mike n ike: **is  
**mike n ike:** is everything ok now or,

**cocker**** staniel:** all is good

**big ben: **yeah!

**mike n ike:** good bc bill got stuck under the bed trying to get a shoe and i need stan's help 

**big ben: **he  
**big ben:** bill did what

**cocker staniel:** oh god not again

**eduardo:** AGANI??

**big ben:** OH MY GOD

**molly ringwald:** the dumb bi is in his natural habitat

**trashcan:** says the other dumb bi

**molly ringwald:** says the disaster bi  
**molly ringwald:** also im NOT dumb ok as least im making an EFFORT unlike SOME PEOPLE

**trashcan:** ok calling me out like that in THIS GROUPCHAT is nOT FUCKNIG COOL

**big ben: **what

**eduardo:** what?

**trashcan:** LOOK WHAT YOU DD BEV

**molly ringwald:** KFJLAS WHOOPS

**eduardo:** u guys constantly make me confused and I Hate It  
**eduardo:** wait do u two have a groupchat with me?

**trashcan:** yes, me & bev + stan :)

**eduardo: **WHAt

**trashcan:** its nothing serious dont worry about it

**molly ringwald:** lmao

**trashcan:** shut UP bev

**molly ringwald:** :))


	14. three more weeks

** _ EDDIE & RICHIE _ **

_[12:03 PM; Cali time]_

**rich <3:** THREE MORE WEEKS  
**rich <3:** T H R E E M O R E W E E K S  
**rich <3:** 3!!!!!! MORE!!! WEEKS!!!!!  
**rich <3:** TROIS SEMAINES DE PLUS

**eddie my love:** since when the fuck do u know french

**rich <3:** gotta win over the love of my life somehow

**eddie my love:** ah makes sense

**rich <3:** but i used google translate bc i needed another way to say three more weeks

**eddie my love:** that makes even more and better sense

**rich <3:** :D

**eddie my love:** hey rich?

**rich<3: **yeah eds

**eddie my love:** THREE MORE FUCKING WEEKS

**rich <3: **THREE  
**rich <3: **MORE  
**rich <3: **WEEKS  
**rich <3:** IM VIBRATING WITHE XCITEDMENT

**eddie my love:** I CANT WAIT TO SAY FUCK OFF TO YOUR FACE

**rich <3:** I CANT WAIT TO HUG YOU

**eddie my love:** wait really?

**rich <3: **uh  
**rich <3:** yes but if that's the wrong answer the no

**eddie my love:** yes is the right answer rich geez sdfjlk

**rich <3:** IVE JUST MSSED YOU ANLOT

**eddie my love:** CALM DOWN RICHIE  
**eddie my love:** ive missed u too  
**eddie my love:** and ur hugs  
**eddie my love:** also, confession time ig  
**eddie my love:** not having an annoying trashmouth sneak into my room at night for cuddles was hard to get used to

**rich <3:** i didnt just sneak in for cuddles ffs  
**rich <3:** i also snuck in to fuck ur mom, thought u would know that by now :/ :/

**eddie my love:** JFSLJF FUCK OFF WTH THE YOUR MOM SHIT

**rich <3:** NO YOU SECRETLY LOVE IT

_eddie my love sent a picture_  
_[desc. that X Doubt meme with the dude in the ugly hat]_

**rich <3:** ok FUCK you

**eddie my love:** :)

**rich <3:** dont give me that stupid smiley you HEATHEN

**eddie my love:** WHY ARE YOU SO DRAMATIC

**rich <3:** YOU'RE THE ONE YELLING AT ME  
**rich <3:** i still think u have undiagnosed adhd

**eddie my love:** just bc YOU have adhd doesnt mean that I DO TOO

**rich <3:** stan agrees

**eddie my love:** WELL THEN FUCK STAN

**rich <3:** OOOOHH IM TELLING HIM YOU SAID THAT

**eddie my love:** FONT YOU FUCING DARE

**rich<3:** IDK MAN IM PRETTY TEMPTED TO

_eddie my love sent a picture_  
_[desc. that meme of sebastian stan as bucky barnes holding the knife]_

**rich <3:** KJFS;LDFKJS;DLKJF  
**rich <3:** OK I WONT TELL HIM

**eddie my love:** ok good

**rich <3:** you are really a fucking gremlin

**eddie my love:** im an angel idk what ur talking about

**rich <3:** more like the fucking devil himself but go off ig

**eddie my love:** oh my god i hate you

_rich <3 sent a picture_  
_[desc. a selfie. richie is smiling but also flipping off the camera]_

**eddie my love:** fuck OFF

** _THANKFUL FOR U LOSERS_ **

[12:12 PM; Cali time]

**big ben:** so,  
**big ben:** bev and i are getting lunch, ya know, the usual for saturdays and eddie sometimes tags along but he doesnt this time bc idk. reasons ig  
**big ben:** we still run into him tho. well, not really bc we're across the road waiting for the sign to change.  
**big ben:** and then we witness  
**big ben:** THIS

_big ben sent a picture_  
_[desc. a blurry and zoomed in picture of eddie at the front of the crowd by the cross walk. a large grin is on his face as he looks at his phone, clearly texting someone.]_

**molly ringwald:** ONLY ONE PERSON CAN MAKE EDDIE SMILE LIKE THAT  
**molly ringwald:** @ RICHE WHERE U AT

**mike n ike:** THATS SUCH A BIG SMILE WHAT DID YOU DO RICH

**billy boy:** might as well just call him whipped cream

**mike n ike: **lKFDJLSJ

**big ben: **OH

**molly ringwald:** eddie or richie?

**mike n ike:** ....both

**molly ringwald:** UR RIGHT

**cocker staniel:** can i be blunt for split sec

**big ben:** sure!

**billy boy:** you always are tbh

**mike n ike:** yeah!!

**molly ringwald:** go for it stan 

**cocker staniel:** they need to date. like. NOW

**billy boy:** THEY REALLY DO

**eduardo:** WE'RE RIGHT HERE, STAN

**cocker staniel:** e x a c t l y

**eduardo:** and idk what the FUCK yall are talking about thats my NORMAL SMILE

**trashcan:** eds speaks the truth

**big ben:** conspiracy theory time!

**molly ringwald:** ksljfkj oh boy

**big ben:** richie only thinks eddie smiles Like That bc eddie only smiles Like That around richie

**molly ringwald:** i'd say that conspiracy theory is true ben

**cocker staniel:** checks out with me

**mike n ike:** totaly true 100%

**billy boy:** ben has the galaxy brain today boys

**trashcan:** ...he does tho?

**billy boy:** SKFJWAIT

**big ben:** WAIT REALLY

**eduardo:** NO I DONT???

**trashcan:** UH YES????  
**trashcan:** i mean  
**trashcan:** its not All The Time but often enough that i noticed

**eduardo: **oh

**trashcan:** oh?

**eduardo: **OH

**trashcan:** OH?????

**billy boy:** STICK TO TEH STUFF YOU KNOOOOWWW

**mike n ike:** IF UWANNNA BE COOL FOLLOW ONE SIMPLE RULE

**big bill:** DONT MESS WITH THE FLOW OH NOOO

**molly ringwald:** STICK TO THE STATUS QUOOOOO

**cocker staniel:** its "no" not fucking "oh" you losers

**billy boy:** WE KNOW  
**billy boy:** it had the same beat tho

**trashcan:** WHAT JUST HAPPENED????

**billy boy:** i think u and eddie had a Moment or something idk  
**billy boy:** or atleast EDDIE had a moement  
**billy boy:** then we sang part of status quo from hsm

**trashcan:** ????????

** _ BILL & RICHIE _ **

_[12:21 PM; Cali tie]_

**eddie's lover:** WHAT DO U MEAN EDDIE HAD A MOMENT

**lesser denbro: **huh?  
**lesser denbro: **OH  
**lesser denbro:** how tf would i know

**eddie's lover:** YOURE THE STAN TO HSI RICHIE

**lesser denbro:** odd analogy but ok

**eddie's lover:** i mean its right tho  
**eddie's lover:** except i never crushed on stan

**lesser denbro:** i mean  
**lesser denbro: **true

**eddie's lover:** BUT BILL

**lesser denbro:** LOOK IDK MAN

**eddie's lover:** WHY WOULD HE BE HAVNG A MOMENT

**lesser denbro:** WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE

**eddie's lover:** ITS OBVIOUS????

**lesser denbro:** well DUH but I WANT OT SEE U SAY TI

**eddie's lover:** BC IM IN LOVE WTH HIM  
**eddie's lover:** ive been typing that out so much lately I Need To Stop

**lesser denbro:** DONT FUCKNG STPO  
**lesser denbro:** dude u need to tell him how u feel

**eddie's lover:** lmao good one billy

**lesser denbro:** no im seriuos

**eddie's lover:** lmao good one seriuos

**lesser denbro:** ha ha funny.

**eddie's lover**: :D

**lesser denbro:** but Seriously

**eddie's lover:** no.

**lesser denbro:** what's the worse that could happen??

**eddie's lover:** i mean he could not feel the same way?? which fine cool ok that'd be fine if i wasn't in love bc then it would be awkward as hell when we all hang out   
**eddie's lover:** BUT THEN he could feel the same way but long distance relationships rarely work out in the long run so then we'd break up and it would once again in up being awkward as hell, if not more so, when we all hang out

**lesser denbro:** oh damn youve really thought this all out

**eddie's lover:** stfu

**lesser denbro:** but there's also this third option where he likes you back, even LOVES YOU & everything works out fnie and dandy bc you're richie&eddie and you two literally cannot be separated for too long or else you both go batshit crazy and everyone and everything is happy and nothing is awkward

**eddie's lover:** idk sounds unrealistic to me :/

**lesser denbro:** OH MYGOD YOURE SO FUCKNGI DUMB

**eddie's lover:** you LITERALLY got stuck under a bed the other day

**lesser denbro:** FUCK OFF THIS IS ABOUT FEELINGS

**eddie's lover:** idk man r u sure

**lesser denbro: **ohmygod  
**lesser denbro:** when you come to derry in 3 weeks

**eddie's lover:** im not going to derry for thanksgiving

**lesser denbro:** u are going to FUCKING TELL EDDIE HOW YOU FEEL  
**lesser denbro:** WAIT WHTA

**eddie's lover:** im not going back to derry until christmas did i not tell u

**lesser denbro:** NO?????

**eddie's lover:** oh lmao whoops

_ **THANKFUL FOR U LOSERS** _

_[12:47 PM; Cali time]_

**billy boy:** RICHIE ISN'T FUCKING COMING TO DERRY FOR THANKSGIVING/FALL BREAK

**cocker staniel:** excuse me WHAT

**molly ringwald:** the every loVING FUCK DO YOU FUCKING MEAN

**mike n ike:** ..........w h a t

**big ben:** disappointed but not surprised tbh

**eduardo:** wait rich did u never tell them??

**trashcan:** i thought i did?????  
**trashcan:** IM SORRY

**molly ringwald:** EDDIE KNEW?  
**molly ringwald:** wait ofc he knew its eddie

**cocker staniel:** @ ben why aren't you surprised?

**big ben:** i mean he is on the literal other side of the country. plane tickets aint cheep

**cocker staniel:** ok valid point

**mike n ike:** true BUT FRIENDSGIVING

**trashcan:** skype and facetime are things

**billy boy:** BUT YOURE GONNA BE ALONE

**trashcan:** lmao

**cocker staniel:** ??

**trashcan:** l m a o

**eduardo:** im not gonna be there either guys

**mike n ike:** WHAT

**molly ringwald:** to quote mike: BUT FRIENDSGIVING

**eduardo:** like rich said, skype and facetime are things

**big ben:** that means ur both gonna be alone and that just makes me sad if im being honest :(

**billy boy:** bro same

**cocker staniel:** i was looking forward to see you in person

**trashcan:** ok debbie downers fuckin calm ur tits  
**trashcan:** christmas is RIGHT THERE

**cocker staniel:** im jewish

**trashcan:** ok but u still get christmas/winter break so shut up  
**trashcan:** i'll be visiting derry then  
**trashcan:** also we WONT be alone bc eds is coming to cali :)

**billy boy:** EDDIE ISIDSFL;KSDJFLWAHT

**molly ringwald: **i  
**molly ringwald:** bev.exe has stopped working

**mike n ike:** wait did something else happen that none of us know about or,

**big ben:** h

**cocker staniel:** so the dick might be getting hard rather than soft for once?

**trashcan:** STOP IT THE DICK AND SEX JOKES ARE MY THING GO BACK TO UR FUCKING KOOKIE KOOKIE AND BIRD SHTI

**cocker staniel: **NO

**trashcan:** FUCK YOU

**eduardo:** FJLSK NOTHING HAS HAPPENED MIKE WHAT THE FUCK???

**mike n ike:** HTEN WHY ARE U VISITNG RICHIE

**molly ringwald:** bev.exe is STILL not working

**eduardo:** bc i dont wanna see my mom just yet and neither of us want to be alone so i bought plane tickets like a week-ish ago   
**eduardo:** also hes my best friend and i love him, so

**molly ringwald:** BEV.EXE IS BROKEN

**big ben: **HHHHH

**billy boy:** YOU WHAT HIM

**eduardo:** AS FRIENDS YOU ANNOYING FUCKS

**trashcan:** ditto eds :)

**cocker staniel:** oh-

**trashcan:** also u forgot to mention how u bought the tickets BEFORE asking me about visiting

**molly ringwald: **FFFF

**eduardo:** ok can i not miss you all of a sudden????

**trashcan:** no u can but its funny and cute

**big ben:** it makes him all warm and fuzzy inside i bet

**trashcan:** BEN

**big ben:** C:

**eduardo:** wait does it??

**trashcan: **h  
**trashcan:** only bc i miss u too  
**trashcan:** any i gotta gettoclassBYE

**mike n ike:** so close.....SO close


	15. benverly, just benverly

**_BEN & BEV _ **

_[7:34 PM; NYC time]_

**loml:** hey

**ben handsome:** hey bev! :)  
**ben handsome:** whats up

**loml:** can we talk?

**ben handsome:** yeah sure. is everything ok?

**loml:** yeah! i just need to talk to you  
**loml:** its nothing bad, i promise

**ben handsome:** positive?

**loml:** skfjk yes ben, im positive  
**loml:** meet me at that cafe??

**ben handsome:** ok good  
**ben handsome:** give me a time and i'll be there :)

**loml:** 8?

**ben handsome:** meet ya there 

**loml:** :))

The walk from her dorm to the usual cafe she and Ben frequent was a quick one. She had a feeling it was because she sped walked the entire way there, but at this point she couldn't care. The nerves were keeping her moving, heart beat rapid in her chest. Once she slipped into the cafe, she ordered hers and Ben's usuals and then took them to the booth in the back by a window they always sat at. After setting Ben's muffin and hot chocolate on one side, she sat on the other and quickly started eating the chocolate croissant she ordered, every once in a while taking a sip of the frappé. It wasn't too long later when Ben walked in.

Beverly let herself stare for a moment. Ben was bundled up because of NCY's November night weather. His hair was tussled from the wind, and his cheeks and nose were pink from the cold. A kind smile formed on his face as he sidestepped, letting an older woman pass by him with easel; the woman smiled back at him, told him thanks, and rushed out into the cold not even a second later. And then they made eye contact. Bev knew that if her life were some perfect rom-com movie, music would be playing - and technically, music is playing, but it's one of the Old Town Road remixes, which wasn't romantic in the slightest. Still though, she smiled, teeth and all, and Ben does the same as he quickly but smoothly walked over to her.

She stood when got close enough. The two were quick to fall into a hug. Ben's arms wrapped tightly around her small frame as her arms went around his waist. It was a good hug; warm and comforting and _safe_. Ben was _safe_. When she pulled away, she lifted her chin to look at Ben, frowning disapprovingly. "Where's your hat? It's fucking thirty degrees outside, Ben," she told him.

Ben smiled guiltily. "I can't find it," he admitted.

Her jaw dropped and she gasped. "I made you that hat last year!"

"I know! It's somewhere in my dorm, but since midterms, it has looked like a tornado passed through."

She pursed her lips, eyes narrowed. But then her look softened and they moved to sit in the booth finally. "How did those go anyway?"

"Good, I think," he said. Then added, "I _hope_. What about you?"

She groaned and tore off a bite of the croissant. "Terrible. Of course, I think I passed, but I'm just...this mandatory history course is really ruining my groove."

He laughed at the reference. "That bad?"

"_Don't_ get me started."

Another laughed escaped him, and all she could to do was smile before joining in. For a few more minutes, they just talked. Ben thanked her for going ahead and ordering his hot chocolate and muffin, and when he tried to pay her back right then and there, Beverly refused. Then they started talking about something to do with Marvel. And then somehow chickens and dinosaurs, before they both started to jokingly plan a course of action to get the other Losers to make a trip to Disney World - and, really, it was a somewhat serious topic of conversation, because who _doesn't_ want to go to Disney World?

It was easy, nice. Beverly wasn't urgent to talk to Ben about what she wanted to talk about, because it's Ben. Simple as that. 

"So, what was it that you wanted to talk about?" Ben asked eventually, and he looked a bit worried.

Beverly sucked in a breath. "You remember how you and Eddie found me crying in bathroom Halloween night?"

Ben's eyes grew wide. "You said it wasn't serious," he said quickly.

"And it's not," she rushed to say. "Believe me. It's- It's nothing bad." She took in his now confused expression, and licked her lips. "I was just...emotional. Can I tell you something?"

He was quick to nod. "Of course, yeah. Always."

She smiled again. For a moment, she was quiet as she thought of how to word it. For a moment, she was tempted to dive in head first and admit everything in one go, but then Mike's texts entered her mind so she decided to go a different route. "So, the party. I honestly didn't think it would end with me crying, drunk, in a stranger's bathroom, but oh well. It started out great! I had so much fun with you and Eddie, and even Kay. So, like. I didn’t expect for the night to end like that.

“Anyway, I planned on not drinking a shit ton. That _never_ goes well, for anybody.” Beverly paused, and Ben nodded; he knew all too well of drinking too much. “But, yeah, I did. Um... I should probably tell you why.”

Ben nodded again, concerned. “Yeah, that...that would be good.”

She quickly leaned forward and grabbed ahold of one his hands on the table’s surface. His face slowly blushed, but he returned the gesture. “It’s nothing bad! Don’t look so worried, Ben. It’s- it’s just I got to thinking that night about, well, my feelings. And..." She sighed. "I'm scared," she finally got out. "The other Losers always say and joke that I'm oblivious to how I feel, but they're wrong. I'm the exact _opposite_ of oblivious. I know how I feel and I know how you feel, but it scares me and it's easier to act that way, as if I have no idea about your feelings or my own. Because, Alvin really fucked me up. That short thing with Tom in junior year certainly didn't help. I just need you to know that I like you. _A lot_. I have for a while, but it's scary. Alvin and Tom messed me up, and I know you're absolutely _nothing_ like them, but it's still...

"That's why I was crying in the bathroom. It got overwhelming and I didn't know how to handle that while at the party and drunk. I ranted to Mike about it, and he, Rich and Stan all helped me the next morning. I know this isn't like an ideal way of telling you that I feel the same way, but I do." Beverly stopped after that. She let the information soak in for Ben, and waited patiently for him to do, or say, something.

Thankfully, she didn't have to wait long at all.

"I'm really glad you were able to tell me that, Bev," Ben said. A small smile played on his lips. "You're really brave for handling this they way you are, you know that, right?"

Suddenly, Bev looked like the shy one. Her cheeks reddened slightly, and Ben's smile grew. "I didn't feel very brave at first."

"Well, you are," he said quietly, yet it was filled with so much adoration that Beverly's blush darkened the slightest bit and a large smile twisted her lips upward. They stayed quiet for a few minutes or so, just holding hands across the table and enjoying the other's company. Then, "I'm guessing you want to take this slow?"

Beverly blinked, then nodded once she realized what Ben said. "If you're okay with that."

"Of course I am. Bev, I really just want you to be happy, and if that means going slow, I'm all for it. You deserve to be happy."

She gave him a lopsided smile and squeezed his hand. "I don't deserve you."

"I could say the exact same thing."

Bev fondly rolled her eyes. She froze for a second then, as if remembering something, but then recovered. Ben hardly noticed. "This isn't our first date, by the way," Bev told him with a finger pointed at him.

Ben sputtered for a second. He didn't expect her to say anything about it. "O- Of course not. You can pick, or I could sur-."

"Surprise me," Bev interrupted, grinning excitedly. "I wanna see what your romantic heart comes up with." Her grin grew as he blushed.

"Um. O- Okay, yeah. This weekend, or the next?"

"I have a test Monday, so..."

"Next it is, then," Ben said.

They didn't stay at the café long after that. Both had early morning classes the next day and homework that still needed to be finished, but when Ben pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles as a goodbye as if they went back a few centuries, Bev suddenly knew that her homework was going to stay unfinished.

** _WE GOTTA DISCUSS SHIT_ **

_[9:38 PM; NYC time]_

**beverly:** BITCHSFKSJFLK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i really hope i did this justice bc i'm Not Good with romance once the characters finally get together/tackle their feelings hence why i was tempted to just cause drama and have bev not tell ben a damn thing BUT yeah,, if the ending of this sucks i'm sorry lmao
> 
> also i am SO sorry for the long wait. first, i got writer's block. then, school decided to pummel me to death, basically, so that was fun lmao. the third reason is i just got lazy. a terrible excuse but a real one, nonetheless
> 
> anyway, hope u enjoyed!! x


	16. small towns are devil towns

** _WE GOTTA DISCUSS SHIT_ **

_[9:38 PM; NYC time]_

**beverly:** BITCHSKDFJSLKJ

_[11:03 PM; NYC time]_

**richie:** ok totally not fair that u sent that with fucking NO EXPLANATION  
**richie:** IT'S BEEN OVER AN HOUR

**mike:** yeah, bev what does that mean

**stan:** one guess  
**stan:** benjamin hanscom

**mike: **OH

**richie:** BEVRLYE MARHS

**beverly:** he KISSEd my HAND like we're in the 19th CENTURY and I THINK I FELL A LITTLE

**mike:** damn boi got some skills

**richie:** wow when u said slow u really meant slow huh

**stan:** RICHIE

**mike:** oh my god

**beverly:** shut UP dickard  
**beverly:** anyway mike, i want to formerly thank you for being the absolute best person in the entire world because i don't think talking to ben would have happened without your guidance during my drunk, sobbing state halloween night. honestly you deserve an award. you deserve some bomb ass sex from your boyfriends. stan, get to it

**stan:** OH my GOD

**mike:** h  
**mike:** am i supposed to say thanks or youre welcome or what the fuck

**richie:** how about all three?

**mike: **thanks  
**mike:** you're welcome  
**mike:** what the fuck

**richie:** ,,ok 

**stan:** do we get any details?

**beverly:** that is all.

**mike:** ok that's not fair

**beverly: **hey i said no updates, and i gave you this. i'm being NICE  
**beverly: **also i needed to freak out and actually thank you mike, so.  
**beverly:** now goodbye

**richie:** we have one weird best friend

** _ BI BI BI_**

_[12:03 AM; NYC time]_

**lucas mucas:** richie tozier if u dont start studying right now i will sic max on you 

**maximus:** dont bring me into this wtaf   
**maximus:** but get to studying, dick

**dick tozier:** .......how do u kno im not???

**lucas mucas: **we’re roommates 

**maximus: **oh my god, they were roommates 

**lucas mucas: **max,,

**maximus: **what we were all thinking it 

**dick tozier:** ok but im talking eddie tho

**maximus: **dr k!

**dick tozier: **SHUT UP   
**dick tozier: **that’s my nickname for him >:(  
**dick tozier:** same with eds 

**maximus: **,,,,god u are so gone for this boy

**dick tozier:** fuk YEAH i am

**lucas mucas:** wow you didnt even deny it 

**dick tozier:** why would i bro   
**dick tozier: **spent the entirety middle school and one year of high school doing so & let me tell u that was emotionally draining 

**lucas mucas:** ....  
**lucas mucas: **FOUR YEARS? YOU WERE IN DENIAL FOR 4 FUCKING YEARS 

**dick tozier: **small town induced internalized homophobia babey!!!!!!!   
**dick tozier:** well, biphobia if u wanna get technical. n e way  
**dick tozier: **over it now tho  
**dick tozier: **same w the others tho some were more self aware & others not so much  
**dick tozier:** n e way x2 eds says hi

**maximus: **tell him i say hi back!! 

**lucas mucas:** shouldnt he be asleep?

**dick tozier: **yeah but nightmares   
**dick tozier:** b4 u ask   
**dick tozier:** no i will not tell u what its about 

**lucas mucas:** is it about that serial killer who dressed as a clown that one summer

**dick tozier:** ......HOW DO U KNOW ABOUT THAT

**lucas mucas: **other than it going on national news after he was caught??? i saw ur texts about it in ur gc over ur shoulder   
**lucas mucas:** y’all are fucked up ngl

**maximus: **as if we didnt try to literally fight the government 

**dick tozier: **lmao fuck yeah we are   
**dick tozier:** u guys did WHAT

**maximus:** MKUltra. google it. none of it was real, just some fucked iup middle aged white dude messing with drugs & basically keeping people as his ‘experiments’  
**maximus: **thats all we can say over text

**dick tozier:** what in the actual fucking hell

**maximus:** yeah. i hadnt moved to hawkins then, but lucas & his friends came clean to me about it about a year after it happened. thought he was lying at first but then more shit happened & here we are

**dick tozier:** well shit

**lucas mucas: **it was a wild week.  
**lucas mucas:** both the year before we met max & when i told her   
**lucas mucas:** look at us bonding over fucked up small towns

**dick tozier:** small towns are devil towns, confirmed

**maximus:** fucking seriously

**lucas mucas:** you have never said anything more correct than that, rich 

**dick tozier:** hey wh.............why does ‘mysterious mall fire and 300 deaths’ pop up when i google hawkins.  
**dick tozier: **THAT DOESNT AOUND LIKE MKULTRA?????

**lucas mucas:** oh yeah!   
**lucas mucas:** that was a cult 

**maximus:** my brother joined :/

**dick tozier:** and u called us fucked up. we just had a psycho, murderous bully & a serial killer one summer. YOU GUYS HAD TO DEAL WITH A FUCKING CULTAND THE GOV BEING SUS  
**dick tozier: **sorry about ur brother tho

**maximus: **dont be he was a verbally abusive dickhead 

**dick tozier:** ah ok then, apology taken back

**maximus:** WAIT   
**maximus:** YOU GUYS NEED TO STUDY

**dick tozier:** do we tho

**lucas mucas:** yes 

**maximus:** yes 

**dick tozier:** damn :/ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is SIGNIFICANTLY shorter than the others BUT I JUST WANTED TO UPDATE BEFORE THE MONTH ENDED. after all it’s officially been 1 whole year (plus some weeks) since i started this so yeah lmao. and i’m So Sorry for not updating for months!! ever since covid happened life has been fuckin weird. anyway! hope u guys enjoyed this short chap xx


End file.
